Joke to End the Day!!

BMW vra vir VW Beetle:

“hoekom sit jou oë buite jou kop en nie binne soos myne nie?”

Beetle : ” kom ons druk ‘n enjin in jou gat , dan kyk ons hoe lyk jy”.

.. and you can find it here.

Drum roll please!!!

using Random.Org

(no hats were harmed in this process)

CONGRATULATIONS CHANTAL!!

Chantal, I am proud to announce you are the winner of a massage treatment by the Bella Body ladies.Email me your contact details so that I can finalise the arrangements.

This was my very first competition (def not the last) and I want to Thank everyone who participated…You all rock!

*sigh* the writing is on the wall..

…the car is tired and is systematically shutting down.(no speedometer, leaky pipe, right shock, door handles, some rust, no aerial, boot lock, loose carb bolt,etc)

Yes, I need a new car, but its frikken expensive and all my money is tied up in my business right now.

So what is a girl to do? How do I go about affording a new car?

• Vehicle Finance? – Financing a vehicle is too risky right now for me as I am currently overextended as it is.
• Rich family? – Have almost zero family left and as my Dad used to say “we not the Rockefella’s, we the other fella’s”
• Steal one? – My luck I wont even get out the parking lot.. and I dont want to be anyones biaatch.
• Save? – HAHAHA, everytime I try that an emergency expense pops up and the savings wave goodbye.

So I sat and thought and thought and thought..<–tiring stuff, hey! And read some articles on money creation when it came to me..

The power of many, that’s where it is. The power of many.

First I calculate how much I need = +-R120 000.00

Then divide it by how many people I know =  3

120 000 /3 = R40 000.00

Then I ask each of my (3)friends to give me that amount…

Ok, that’s a little bit dismal to ask the three people I know to give me R40 000.00 each. They may not invite me for tea anymore.

But just think how cool it would be if I knew say 500 people! Then it would look more like this:

120 000/500 =  R240 !!

So if each of these friends gave me R240 (because they love me) I would be able to get a new car and not guess my speed or have to top up water after each stop or have to keep replacing door handles and be able to make long distance trips and, and, and, and..

Wouldn’t that be nice!!!

Well, this one just practically posted itself here today

Rough Translation – “Diesel is Expensive, save your truck -Ride a Farmboy”

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You just can’t blame me..

I have thought this through long and hard and I just don’t see how anyone can.

I am  pessimist, to be more correct I am a “jaded non trusting pessimist”.

I do not get my hopes up, I do not believe that good things will happen to me and I trust very few people.

And  yesterday I realised that no matter what I do or how I attempt certain things some people will NEVER EVER change, and that is just sad.

And it is just as well I am a “Jaded Non Trusting Pessimist” who always keeps a Plan B in place for just these moments when others fail to fulfill their end of things, or today would have been a disaster indeed.

So go Felcher your cat…

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Calling all Stressed out Durban People!

• Want to have your knots removed?
• Your stress relieved?
• Joints stiff?

I am giving everyone an opportunity to win a fabulous chillaxing prize and all you have to do is answer one easy peasy question to enter!

Up for grabs is a wonderful Back, Neck and Shoulder Massage administered by one of the lovely ladies of Bella Body!!!

How to Win:

• Answer the easy question via the comments section below and then you will be entered into the draw. Easy, eh?
• The draw takes place on Friday 5th march 2010 and anyone may enter although it is a Durban Based Company and therefore its best if your a local

Question: What do I call  my Boyfriend ?? (Clue S***G)

Good Luck!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand GO!

Ja, ja, ja … it’s been six days.. ten hail mary’s and a loofah spank

Not like I haven’t got a lot to say or share.. cos I do and was driving this morning wondering what I should tackle first!!

I have been feeling very emotional lately and think it is due to the tragic news that befell my sisters little family about two weeks ago, At first I thought I was just “phasing” as we women do from time to time but I have become somewhat clingy with my family members and tearful at random moments.. and my regular “phasing” is far more volatile with the appearance of horns and the occasional tongue lashing

But after spending a TOTALLY chill weekend with my bff just laughing, watching movies (with the exception of the one movie BRUNO leaving huge psychological scarring unfortunately..LOL) and eating inordinate amounts of naughty foods, I am pleased to report that I well on my way to recovery!

With work almost completely up to date and the promise of me actually having some of it done ahead of schedule I am feeling quite good. Its nice being in a position of positivity for a change ..

But before I leave I am going to share a little something with you … Last night I was at a business network meeting, you know, hobnobbing with the locals and so forth when I was accosted by a guy who proceeded to spend half an hour explaining to me what a mothertrucking moron he is.. and I am pleased to announce – Mission Accomplished!  He not only accomplished this mission but I think he is in line for an award or two..

*Wally explained to me in GREAT detail how a Hard Drive carries an image of all data previously stored on it regardless of how many times it gets formatted and whether or not  the data gets written over it…This image is held somewhere secret and only special people can access it using super powerful software.  My attempts to educate the man moron fell on deaf ears.. I am a chickypoo afterall and he has 18 years of experience *le sigh*. He just kept talking over me adjusting his belly as he spoke about the AMAZING software at this fingertips that can retrieve any data and that the only way to truly destroy information on a hard drive is to burn it..?!?! omg.. someone please save me. I was bleeding internally at this stage and practically begging some random stranger across the room to rescue me with mine eyes.. I think he either had met Wally before or thought I was having a fit cos he ran the other way…..

I eventually left the event muttering under my breathe and went home to a  “death by choc” magnum(choc really does soothe the soul). I don’t know why but It really upsets me when people utter stupid things and refuse to listen to reason. Buggering asshole!

Anyhoot, back to my happy place I am going to phone the aircon guy now again and explain to him in as much detail as possible why it important to return the cool air to me pronto and not next week like he said earlier cos I am glowing in all my not so ladylike places and I dont think the office equipment will do so well poolside. I am sure he will see my side of things!

*Wally is not his real name although it should be..

So last night we lay in bed (all three of us).. chatting away while the lightning flashed and crashed outside. After a great meal there really is nothing better than chilling with friends and shooting the bull.

Omg, then it was said. The thing that cannot be unsaid and will haunt some people FOREVER!!

The word *fuck* came up. And (somebody who will remain anon for now) ANON proudly announced the origins of the word.

In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.

Ja, well I was finished.. I laughed so much I cried. She gave me the finger and told me to stop laughing because it was true. Then challenged me to google it in the morning  whereby she will be expecting  an email in the morning apologising for my rude and obnoxious behaviour. <– This had me in further stitches.. in fact I went a little crazy at this point with the laughing actually..LOL!

Anon, I love you… and just want you to know, I did what was required of me.. I found proof of it being a HOAX and I have included for entertainment purposes only a little video explaining the value and some history of the word FUCK. Enjoy!

Link that verifies this as a HOAX — Click here

and Le Video…

Yesterday was Valentines Day..

…and I spent it with SexyG and Kiddies(all four) at MidMar!

So what did I get??

• Hugs and Kisses from the kids
• A heart Mug from the girls
• A card from SexyG
• StandUp comedy performed by D
• Whinging from J
• and a sunburn from the Dam….

Was an awesome day..a FANTABULOUS weekend and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Sooooooooo…..did you do anything or get something special for V day ?!?

P.S. if i get a chance later today I will upload some of the pics to my Facebook

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