Thoughts out loud…
I’m being watched.. My every move monitored.. My every word captured.. Why me? What about me is so noteworthy and captivating?? Should I smile? Would he be aware of how nervous he makes me? I can feel his eyes move on me as I walk to the flat, as I switch on the kettle.. His eyes burning the back of my neck as I walk.. I pull my jersey abit tighter, and falter abit on the steps… Did he see that? Of course he did! He sees it all.. Makes notes of it all… The phone is ringing now.. I dont want to answer it.. It might be him.. He often phones.. Stays silent on the other end until the silence screams out at me and I put the phone down. I stand there.. in the kitchen.. aware of him.. aware that he isn’t far away.. Th odd thing about it is that...
My pending heart throb…
I am not domesticated to be honest.. But this morning I felt the need to put a load of washing on (Ok, I have no clean gym pants)… While emptying the pockets of J’s school pants I found a crumpled piece of paper in them… I could not RESIST!.. Didnt even try! So I opened it up carefully like a little kid unwrapping a xmas pressie…and was the one thing I most certainly did not expect!! In fact I was totally blown away with my discovery.. It was a poem! “A Poem?” you ask.. Yes, A poem! Upon intensive interrogation (I had a lamp aimed at his eyeballs…) it turns out it was a rough draft for a school project. I personally think it is not bad attempt for a 13 year old boy and he has definite potential… It is really such a...
Remember when…
Do you remember when you touched my knee? Unexpectant little tingles ran all through me… I tried to hide the affect you made, but was fooling no-one, evidently, Your smile refusing to fade.. Your beautiful blue eyes sparkling with expression, I was sure how everyone around us were witnesses to the attraction. Your charm was effortless, entrancing, I never stood a chance.. We spoke for hours, time just flying, Not saying anything of importance, Just loving the way together feels.. Two years later -I am still loving the feeling I wake to your smile, I fall asleep on your chest… I have found a home for my heart to rest. You are my Love, My Darling, My Friend, I am yours completely, Now – Forever – No end Be the first to...
My Smile
My Smile Standing in a crowd with a smile firmly painted on my face… No one seems to notice the strain it takes or the cracks that have appeared I stand there, alone amongst many, my smile never leaving its place. I am not sure how much longer this will remain to be true, The screaming in my head demanding to be heard, I stop, breathe and smile anew. “the voices wont win, the voices cant win..” I repeat to myself over and over. Everyone oblivious to the torment that occurs within, the struggle I fight, the light that is always dim.. I cant let them see, I cannot allow them to pity. There are so many of us who live with this, appearing normal, happy, content, A torrent of torment hidden successfully. So each day I strive to keep the voices within...
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