Having the sads..

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I always have such mixed feelings this time of year.. the dreaded Mother’s Day!

On one hand there is my sadness at not being able to spend it with my mom πŸ™

And on the other there is elation as I get hugs and love from my boys. πŸ™‚

This year is like a twisted sister of crazy and I wont even bother to submit my application for “mom of the year”.

My kids are growing up so fast, almost grown men! Not quite, but almost πŸ˜‰ <– Don’t tell the eldest as he thinks he is a big man now at the ripe old age of 19,.

I see very little of him anymore. In fact, he may have been abducted by aliens and I would honestly not know. And the only reason I know he still uses his cellphone is because I am still getting the invoice for it. Not that he ever uses it to communicate with me.

It is a very sad state of affairs really.. my youngest feels the rejection of his sibling every day and I just play it down and tell him it is a phase. That his brother will come back once the novelty wears off and real life kicks in.

But between you and me:Β  I think it is a phase of fucken rude!! As much as I love him, his behaviour pisses me off. I struggle with how he seems to have forgotten all his manners and everything I have taught him about having common decency and respect for others in just a few months.

So Sunday there I will be, quietly trying to not notice the rejection of one child while showing happiness of being loved and cuddled by the other and fighting back the tears of remembrance at the loss of not being able to shower love on my mom.

It is going to be a fucken mad day indeed. completely fucken bonkers.

Perhaps I should just hide in bed and pretend that I am in a coma.. that way I won’t have to deal with it at all?

*sigh*

Wake me up when the weekend ends. or Better yet, just leave me to lie there till the madness is over and/or the aliens return my son to me.

xoxo