Madness..

~~~

I tried to work today, but my mind is on a planet of it’s own..

wandering around aimlessly smelling alien flowers that closely resemble unicorn poop.

 

I would like to blame the Myprodol which  I am currently eating like candy or the fact that I am in pain from the time I open my eyes till I fall asleep but those are probably just added factors.

If I really think about it, my primary cause of inefficiency lies in the fact that I am feeling quite beaten down by 2013 with all that has happened and then  include with that the end of year financial stress, kids exams, moving drama and whether Santa did indeed see everything I got up to this year… *sigh*

So I end up dreading the day and wishing for sleep time so that I no longer have to think about things, be responsible and/or smile.

I JUST ACTUALLY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE

.completely.

But not REALLY completely left alone either. I still want to be with my favourite home people, on my bed, sharing silly things and playing Despicable Me on my tablet.

That probably doesn’t make too much sense. Or does it?

For instance, tomorrow night is the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special on BBC. <—–THIS IS HUGE!!

Been waiting all year for this show. And here at CASA LE BECAUSEICAN , we are all big big fans! Seriously BIG fans.

But since I don’t have TV that is connected to DSTV or anything like that, I will need to get out of bed and mingle with others in order to watch.. it is a tough tough choice for me. As my happy pants and I do not want to speak to people.. we just want to be left alone.

Currently even the friendly banter of FB, Twitter, BBM  and other social media just make me go blegh . Absolutely nothing seems to get my engine revving towards the positive. I now fully understand Scrooge McDuck, The Gringe and RipVan Winkle.

Honestly, this funk is pulling me downtown.. I have very dark thoughts lately and as much as I know that I need to shake myself loose, I just cannot do it.

I try make light of it but this time my jokes and playful banter just isn’t cutting it for me. I laugh a little and then get reminded of the madness of the past year and all the battles I was forced to engage in and the sadness swoops over me with a fierceness that I just cannot fight.

I am sure there are many of us out there right now, fighting the urge to give up on everything completely and just battling through the day wishing for the comfort of our beds and the solace of sleep.

But in our quiet brave heart voice we will whisper into our pillows tonight……. “Tomorrow we try again..”

xoxoxoxox