Question Time… #serious
~~~
OK, lets get chatting about something very serious.
As a single mom of small children. Isn’t it just a little bit soon to move in with a guy after only knowing him 2 or 3 months?
Surely as a parent you have a responsibility to get to know the other individual properly before even introducing your new flavour to the little ones let alone move in with him?
Am I being a prude?
let me know your thoughts please.. and Go!
10 Comments
Submit a Comment
Tracking..
Le Advertisers
This is a lesson i’ve learned very recently. a couple of months is too soon. granted, i didn’t move in with him, but i did let him into my life and my kid’s life too soon. the person he was in the initial whirlwind and the promises he made wasn’t the person he actually was, or oaths he could keep. luckily my kid is young enough to not remember him in the future, but i will be way more guarded before i let someone into our life again.
I completely agree with you – I think you should really keep your new relationship very much between you and the new guy even if he meets the kids – I would go so far as not to even be physical around the kids for the first few months – kissing etc – until you really know the man properly. For lots of reasons – you need to protect your kids physically and emotionally – it’s really not fair to drag them through a whirlwind romance because no matter how in love you feel you CANNOT know how things will pan out when you don’t yet know enough about him yourself
I think 2 or 3 months isn’t enough to move in.
Back when I was still dating, I didn’t introduce my kids until after 2 0r 3 months. Granted I never actually moved in with anyone until Nadine, and we met each other when we both had our kids with us. Even then we dated for a while before the kids even saw us “together”.
Then again…maybe I’m a prude too. :-/
It can work out, but I think it’s safer to protect your children emotionally and physically until later on. I’ve seen friends whose children have grown very attached (to the point of calling the guy “dad”) only to be confused by a fizzled-out relationship. No matter what you choose, you still have to talk to your kids and guide them through the process, and- it’s not rocket science- NEVER put them in a vulnerable position with a guy who could hurt them.
It’s difficult, if the bluebirds of love are tweeting on your shoulder, but your kids are your primary resonsibility. Allow him to get to knwo them gradually, too, after all, you’re ultimately asking him to commit to them as well as you. My two cents…
Way way WAY to soon, I don’t even have kids, and I wouldn’t do that, let alone move in with someone after 3 months? I won’t even fart in front of someone after only knowing them for 3 months. Ok, maybe I would, but still, NO!
NO NO,That is far too soon,i am a mother of young girls and im sorry you dont know anything about the man after a few months,you cant possibly know if he has any hidden agenda’s. I would never put my girls into that sistuation they are precious and should be protected,and not be put in that enviroment where it could end up been dangerous. Personaly i think by doing that it make you a very selfish parent,you should think of your children’s needs before your own.
I’m really encouraged to see guys agreeing with you, Bri. We tend to think they are the ones pushing for “moving in quickly” and mothers being the ones to hold back.
It’s good to know there are so many “prudes” around these days
Way too soon. My rule is that I have to:
a) have known the person prior to having a relationship with them. i.e. no weird blind dates that become relationships.
b) they do not meet my child until such time as they show me they are committed and are worthy.
c) they’re on probation for the first six months anyway, in case they get scared off by the notion of THE KID.
d) dude, seriously, it’s been over two years and I’ve only let P have my daughter on his own TWICE, for two hour periods. Once when I was at a work function, and another time when he took her to the funfair. That’s it. That’s how it rolls.
My kids met 3 men I dated and one of them was David.
I kept it all seperate for as long as possible. They met D pretty early on but then I just knew he was the one and we moved in almost exactly a year after meeting each other but by then we had pretty much made a solid long term commitment to each other!
Too soon IMHO.