The speed with which it happens…

Walked in the office yesterday and SexyG looks at me with kind eyes and says “We need to talk..” I froze, he just uttered the four words we all dread.. the words that are almost always followed with bad news.

I looked up at him and blinked, almost as if I believed that if I stared at him long enough with a dumb look on my face he will not continue to talk.. not continue to tell me something that I KNOW I don’t want to hear..

“Let’s go upstairs and make some coffee and chat ” he says and walks out the office. I didn’t follow him, I sat down at my desk and stared at my monitor refusing to acknowledge his request for privacy and thereby refusing to speak about the obviously unpleasant things..

After a few minutes I stood up and walked upstairs where he stood waiting for me. He saw my hesitancy and put his hand on my arm and we sat down. “Your brother called earlier and I don’t want you to get upset but he was mugged today”  I went cold, my brother, Paddy, omg, omg, omg, omg! Seeing the fear and pain on my face he quickly follows up “No, Briget, he is fine now.. Slightly shook up but fine..”

As I sat there he told me how my brother was walking home with my little nephew, who is only 4 years old, from the shop when he was attacked by a group of knife wielding thugs. They pushed him to the ground while rummaging through his pockets stealing his money. And apparently when they attempted to stab my little nephew my brother panicked and with a burst of adrenaline managed to extricate himself and run away with his son in his arms..

.. and with that their lives have changed.

Brian, my little nephew, is obviously traumatised by this and wouldn’t stop crying for ages afterward and is now clingy and hesitant in leaving his Daddy’s arms.. My brother is now fearful of a repeat mugging and has decided that he will no longer be taking his little boy to the shop.. No more looking at the toys while his Daddy buys the milk and bread.. No quiet little chat on their walk back home..How sad for them. But he is stronger than me.. I would not be an absolute wreck if that were me, In fact I don’t know if I would have the courage to even leave my home after an event like this.

To make matters worse, my brother sees no point in reporting it to the police because a year ago his sister-in-law who lives with them was mugged and when they called the police nothing was done.. they were told that they would open a case but that there isnt anything they can do about it. So this time around it goes unreported and the criminal wins.

I am angry with these broken beings who have zero respect for human life. I don’t want to accept the fact that this happens, I don’t want to just sit back and wait for the next time someone tries to attack my family.. I just don’t think I can survive anymore loss in my life.. correction, I know I wont.

I feel like I should be doing more.. I feel like I should protect them.. I feel helpless and I feel sad.

Not sure how to proceed but in the meantime I pray..