Post Divorce.. doing it for the kids.

As you all know… I have a very rocky existence with the Ex.. and as much as I try shelter the kids the whole thing affects them considerably.

divorce

So much so that going to their Dad is an unpleasant affair for them to the point now that they don’t want to go in fear of having to be interrogated etc. And I am at my wits end trying to get him to understand that what he does or doesn’t do makes a difference in their lives. So after many threats from him and numerous other unpleasantries exchanged between us I sat down and considered options available to me.

Truth be told, we are both to blame, I could deal with things better from my side and of course there is the old saying.. People only do to you what you allow them to do. And even though I HATE the thought that I am enabling him, I have to realise that perhaps I am.

I discussed this with a mediator and other councillors and I finally came up with this solution:

A Parenting Plan..it sounds too simple, it sounds ineffective but after checking it out and reading up some information regarding it. I saw two major benefits.

  1. You spend a lot of time re-evaluating your setup and deciding a positive and constructive plan for the best interest of your children.
  2. The document can be legalised if done correctly as part of your custody/visitation application.

And that’s what I have done.. I have set a parenting plan together.. and it was a real eye-opener for me. I was reminded of some very important fundamentals in parenting.

This parenting road is a long one and everyone knows that them babies don’t come with a manual, so we are left to bump around trying to avoid the potholes and forever trying to keep things going smoothly but sometimes we lose our way and find ourselves in a situation or two where we do things, say things and act out in a way that is harmful to them, not intentionally of course but harmful all the same. It is just a case of finding a clear and positive path once again and hopefully we wouldn’t have incurred too much in the line of permanent damage along the way.

So sometime this weekend I am hopefully going to be able to get him to read this parenting plan, even add some points if he has them but most importantly understand the contents of the plan and together we can make the changes necessary to nurture some handsome strong well adjusted young men.

I love my boys and quite frankly would do anything on this big round planet just for them… let’s just hope their Dad feels the same way.

*holding thumbs*

briget

P.S. for anyone wanting a copy of my parenting plan just drop a comment indicating it and I will send it on.