PaperClip thrombosis..

I have no idea what that is (sounds serious) but that’s not what I am talking about today..

Today I want to talk about the fact that my dentist tried to kill me…A simple toothache (ignored for a month) was what I walked in with. What I walked out with was a head shattered in abuse and a promise of more to come in 6 days.

After several XRays poking and prodding he eventually found the culprit of my *occasional* toothache. It was a little crack at the base of my tooth that had exposed a nerve? He looks at me in an accusatory fashion and shakes his head mumbling something about grinding my teeth and not listening.  So I gasp in a mock horror and ignore hm.

So what if I grind my teeth, I am not the first person to do this and most definitely wont be last… besides, without me and others like me breaking our teeth, he would probably have had to go into some other profession like pimping so I actually saved him from ho’s

Anyhoo, there I am mouth open enduring the needle and the drilling and thinking happy bunny thoughts and other such arb crap when he finally announces that I should close my mouth and bite…

“aarg .. caa… oeoo… aaai… ouuoo…”

I sit there and blink at him..drool running down my cheek wondering where the frikken suction thingy is.. and after a few awkward seconds of this he realises that my jaw is locked open again. Thanks asshole, what was your first clue?

(Fast forward through the agony of snapping my jaw closed) He gets me to grind on a blue piece of paper, opens my mouth to investigate further, and then says “Ok, bite down aga…er, uhm.. here let me help you”<–WTF?!

I went home in pain, pure agony.. Headache from hell bottled with a bruised face from the torture and the knowledge that I will need to return on Tuesday for a followup…

P.S. I am feeling totally wrecked today.. Can’t seem to shake the headache and don’t think I can take any more painkillers and still maintain normal body control.