Wishing everyone a VERY VERY Porno Weekend

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..About my fabulously wonderful weekend and all that happened at the #ballfest.

I want to share with you the story of the Strawberry Stumpians

MWAH!!!

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Ok.. I won’t be doing the porch thingy.. but I do plan to have a fabulous fabulous time with My DARLING Sissy and the ABSOLUTE fabulous Angel & Glugs coming to Dirtbin .. not too mention the local hooligans  who are coming to parteee with me on Saturday!!

I am actually quite excited at this getting old thing
MWAH!

P.S. so it isn’t officially my birthday till next week but I don’t care

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In a short while (9 days, 12 hours, 12 minutes and 40 seconds to be exact) I will be a year older, a year wiser, and sport another years worth of wrinkles to show off to the world.

Being the ever constant Virgo that I am , I have OBVIOUSLY organised a get together marking this event.

This year it will be very small scale and have invited only a handful of the nearest and dearest including the obligatory hooligan to keep things real. There will be a multitude of balls to suit everyones needs and/or wants and I insist there be much flinging of said balls

I have asked everyone to NOT buy me presents this year <– which is sooooooooooooo unlike me but there is a method to mine madness.. I am still trying DESPERATELY to get a new set of wheels as my Jetta hasn’t been running for over a month now. SO I am completely reliant on SexyG to drive me around these days.

So I am asking everyone in Lieu of gifts to please rather spread the word of the MyR260Car fund and perhaps help me achieve my goal of getting a car.

The car I am after has come down in value from R130 000 to R109 000 so I don’t need as many participants as I originally thought.

However, at the moment I am still short of 378 particpants. Which feels like an impossible task right now but being the stubborn fool that I am I refuse to give up

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One of the negative things about me is the laughing, now before you raise your quizzical brow and ask ” how can laughing be a negative thing?” I must tell you more..

If you fall, I laugh..

If something breaks, I laugh..

In fact if I fall I laugh..

If you chase me I run screaming and laughing away..

When the dog craps on your shoes, I laugh..

If you reverse into the wall I laugh..

When I broke down in the pouring rain and got soaked to the bone just opening the bonnet, I laughed..

Most things barring torture,rape,murder and other such heinous crimes, get me giggling before I can stop myself..

It all comes across as slapstick to me.

I am a giggling snorter (full stop)

It has however been brought to my attention once again how my laughing is not always appropriate and I should learn to curb the giggles and snorts.

*le sigh*

I am trying, ok!?

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Something is happening and even though it is a wonderfully beautiful thing and we all are excited about everything I am still hesitant in sharing it with everyone.

Mostly because it involves others and feelings need to be constantly considered.

Nothing in life is easy and this is no exception to that rule. As the history is shrouded in personal perspectives surrounding events  it is always difficult to get the truth from people and in this case unfortunately there were a lot of lies and half truths bandied about and as things continue more of the truth surrounding those events will come to light.

I am continuously surprised as I discover more and more for myself. But I will discontinue this cryptic line of text.

All I can say is that I am very happy about it and that I look forward to all the wonderfulness that surrounds this and TOTALLY love the fact that I am “making my circle bigger..”

MWAH!

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TGIF and all that.. Today instead of giving you a funny friday which is just a recycled email joke anyway, I thought I would give you a glimpse into the drivel I spew IRL (<- In Real Life) ..

If you are bored already just click the little red X on the top right hand corner and you will be transported to your desktop where you will see your wallpaper (which is probably so cluttered with icons anyway you can’t see the water bubbling over the rocks)

Shit I have spewed randomly this past week:

• Thank you for calli…. SHIT, DAMMIT!! TELKOM KISSSSSSSSSSS MINE ASSS!!
• So you feel that you are in danger and civvies is the only way to be safe?!
• Wednesday!? What happened to Tuesday?
• Oh My Boy I am soooo proud of you! Well Done
• Vandag is Afrikaans Dag, as jy nie vir my in afrikaans kan praat nie dan kan ek jou nie help nie…
• Here you go babe, four clues to the thing you know you want to give me..
• No, the banana’s are for the fritters.
• You know where the iron is.. knock yourself out..
• Lower..Lower.. Yes, there right there..aaaahhh!!! Thank you
• Sheeez ! That is very Pixelated.. don’t we have a vector of that image?
• CarPooooChino TIME!!
• I just LOVE the new THE A TEAM movie!!.. eh? what!? LOL! ok, you can watch mine then..
• No dude.. that’s not ayoba.. *sigh*

So as you can see it is all really quite boring and very much like watching paint dry.. What I would really like to see is the wisdom/crappola Sheena, EXMI, Laura, Natashia, Goblin, Angel & Heather have said lately

This just in : I want o apologise to all and sundry for confusing yesterday for Friday…but instead of thinking of it as a false start, I would like to  think of it as a LOoooooooooooooooong Friday

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When moments surround me with such fierceness I have this incredible urge to run screaming off the edge of a cliff.. this will both end the pressure I obviously can’t deal with as well as give me the opportunity to fly for the first time.

But being a mom and somewhat of a grownup I realise that this behaviour is not proper and I need to learn new and more interesting ways of dealing with things that won’t

1. result in me screaming like a mad woman
2. leave a big mess for some random to scrape up
3. and wont require  a “Men in Black memory wiper thingy”

normally just the mere act of blogging has proven sufficient in working through my issues but this time my frustration is huge and my head feels like it is going to explode because I have to bite my frikken tongue.

So since I am unable to voice my concerns for now I think I will go drink a bottle of rum and text some people, followed by a blissful drunken sleep and tomorrow I will blame it all on alcohol and promise never to touch the dirty captain again…

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I am now on Mxit <–WTF am I supposed to do there anyway!?!?!

Who cares.. it’s Friday and I plan to chillax till thursday anyway..planning my #ballfest (I am hashtagging this biatch)

And for those going to OppiKoppi.. behave you bastards, I don’t like you having so much fun without me

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FTW!!

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