NU 135290 (white car).. You are an asshole.

Yes, I am unaware whether you are a female asshole or a male asshole or a clan of assholes even. But the fact remains that you are an asshole.

You may not remember me, but on Friday at 11.20pm while we were driving home from the Pavillion (we had just finished watching The Avatar) you decided to try kill us in your rush to go fuck knows where. You pushed us into the oncoming traffic because you decided that firstly the left hand verge was a lane and secondly that it was a good place to overtake us. That we were in the lane was of no interest to you obviously.

1. Had G not swerved in time we would’ve been in all probability dead.
2. Had there been cars approaching in the oncoming lane we would’ve in all probability been dead.

You may not care about your existance on this planet but I do. I have children who need me and depend on me and they could’ve, by your careless behaviour, been orphans today. Would you have explained to them why they do not have their mom anymore? I don’t think so. Would you have lost any sleep at the fact that I may be dead right now because you are an asshole? I don’t think so. Assholes like you just don’t give a shit either way.

I am tired of people driving like assholes, drunk drivers, reckless drivers, people who don’t use handsfree kits, don’t watch the road, drive aggressively and those that just race around because they are late.. Fuck you all for not caring about my safety on the road. I am tired of it now and will be taking a more proactive stand. I will pull over if I see you, photograph you if I can and most definitely report you to the traffic dept. I am that fucken tired of it all. The road is not a playground and the human body is not invincible and “Sorry” does not make things better.

I plan to live a long time.. and do not appreciate your attempts on my life. So take this as a warning. If I happen upon your vehicle in the future I may or may not leave you a reminder as to how angry I am at your stupidity.

That is all…

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Ja.. I am sick (again) but in my attempt to let everyone know that I am not dead and spread Xmas cheer I felt it necessary to share this clip with you..

Since I Squeak I thought I would Sing for you… <–Click here

Go on.. KliK and Lol!

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Have a Super Porno Weekend

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My darling D  received honours today and was awarded the Chess “Player of the Year” Trophy!!!

OMGIAMSOFRIKKENPROUDICOULDHUGANDSQUEEZEHIMALLDAYLONG!!!!!!

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I do not actually pay attention to these kinds of emails but this one.. yes this one.. was sooo super accurate I felt it worthy of a Showcase!

SEPTEMBER= FINE ASS PIMP<–Me !

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fulfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

I Shit you not.. Its like there is a webcam on me and my every movement..

Here is the whole email.. see how accurate this shit is for you..

JANUARY=PIMP

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. Has Verbal diarrhoea

FEBRUARY=THUG

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it.. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH=GORGEOUS

Drop dead gorgeous!!! Attractive personality. Very sexy!!! Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox! Loves to talk a lot! Loves to get their way! Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of ANY of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others. Likes to keep their crushes kinda secret. Pretty much flawless.

APRIL=SEXY

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has some brains.

MAY=LOVER

Hello sexy, loves sex n making love, tends to be SOOOOO hot!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys making love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

JUNE = LUST

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hot. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp.. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

JULY GANGSTA

You’ve got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing.. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with a JUNE birthday. Adventurous, always eager to try something new. Spontaneous, ooh la la!! great between the sheets. Very romantic. Loves being surrounded by beautiful things, loves loving, loves being in control. It is also more likely than that you have a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself – heck, you’ve got the looks for it!!!

AUGUST=ATTITUDE

Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. Self control. Kind hearted. Self confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to.. Has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. In need of “that someone”. Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by “no pain no gain” caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. “Charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. Stubborn. Curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

SEPTEMBER=FINE ASS PIMP

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fulfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

OCTOBER=HOTTIE

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands
Out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because Their one of a kind.

NOVEMBER=SWEETIE

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Having many children. Hardworking. High Spirited.

DECEMBER=BEAUTY

This straight-up means you’re the most good-looking Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally.. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts.
Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Having many children. Hardworking. High spirited

So is this accurate for you too??

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OK.. so I have nothing of interest to splurb here presently (well not the kind of stuff I am allowed to talk about anyway..LOL) Torn between debating the incredible artform of “Watching paint dry” and describing “The Importance of A great filing system using the Phonetic Alphabet”….

…I then remembered that I was going through my AWStats the other day and perhaps you may be interested in some of the results!(or not)

Let’s just say that I have clients who would KILL for this kind of traffic

Here is some Random info though:-

Top Ten Search Terms:

1. ruler
2. fat girls
3. national cleavage day
4. magnum pi
5. boobs
6. haters
7. hairy everywhere
8. breathing
9. because i can
10. fat girls and feeders

Top Ten Posts:

1. My Name is…
2. unbelievable stuff…
3. Who I B
4. Do my Boobs look big in this?…
5. Happy National Cleavage day!!
6. Ugly assed hairy buggers that piss everywhere..
7. I really really wanna…Chana??
8. If Friday was a feeling..
9. And her heart would skip a beat..
10. Red or not red..

Also Sundays are my busiest days:

So there you have it! Arb Random information which will neither enrich your life or sexcite you in any way or form..

In fact I think after reading this incredibly boring post you should go to the pub and drink at least six tequila’s.

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…..It IS Friday afterall

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This is a game that I have not been able to master as well as others…(I totally kick ass in Monopoly!)

I don’t understand the rules and can’t seem to comprehend the logic that surrounds this game.

Pretend:-

To appear falsely, deceive, feign: to pretend to go to sleep. To display a fake representation of oneself to others in order to be seen as favourable to another person/people, normally the person/people who are the recipients of the faked pleasantries are of the foe category of life.

The reason for playing this game is yet to be determined.

Players 1+ (best played if by 2 or more)

It fascinates me how people who OBVIOUSLY dislike each other can pretend to like each other and continue to display a facade of friendliness and then go and speak kak about each other when the others back is turned.

I struggle with this. If I don’t like you, I say so or even better, I don’t speak to you. I do not “play nice” and this has in turn left me with very few friends, but those I do have, are genuine. They are the gems in my life, I will polish them up and put them in pretty boxes and never ever will I speak kak about them or turn my back on them.

My mom tried to teach me how to play this game because she felt that I needed to be slightly more polite to people who I personally thought were assholes (because they behaved like assholes..) but others played pretend with them due to their status or standing. I feel no such love. She eventually gave up and just tried to bribe some friends for me  with milktarts..

So here I am, in a position where once again I faced with a situation of either playing the game with someone with the alternative being somewhat awkward…

Am I going to be able to do this? Will my face and body give me away? Will I be able to bite my tongue in moments of extreme mental exhaustion?

Do I really want to play? No.. but we don’t always get what we want in life and sometimes we need to take one for them team..do we??

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