2 years later..

Today I woke up a little bit slower,

a little bit sadder, and with a little less purpose..

But I did get up and start my day, I did not cower.

Its been 2 years since we last spoke,

2 years since my heart broke..

The pain, the anguish I felt at your passing,

The hurt, the loss, the tears… seemingly everlasting,

are there still, ever present today as I remember,

that two years ago you left me..broken.. with your departure..

Without your warmth, your love, and your voice,

I feel lost and angry and want to scream at the world..

“This was not my wish, this was never my choice!”

yet I am forced to get up each and very morning,

Put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is alright..

So today, like yesterday and the day before,

I get by..I get going.. I get through it.. but not without a fight.

Maybe some day it will get easier.. maybe some day I will learn to accept..

Today is not that day..Today I woke up crying..Today I am still feeling quietly bereft.