To wake up crying..

.. is always the first indication that the sleep was troubled and you heart just wants to explode in pain and the only way your body knows how to compensate for the pressure build up is by making your eyes leak..


And the indicators were right… I had one of THE most awful dreams that as a mother I hope never ever – ever – ever – ever – ever comes true..because it is clear to me now more than ever that this is something I simply will not survive.

As many people may know, I am slightly overprotective of my boys.. and after last night.. I may just turn it up a few notches..

“I am very sorry my pumpkins.. Mommy is going to drown you with love and smother you with kisses. One day you will understand….”

*sigh* – just writing this has brought fresh tears to my eyes in memory of the pain I felt last night.