IceCream on a hot summers day = ….

imgoingpostal

So what is it that causes my children to do everything in their power to drive me to points of mental meltdown??

It is almost seasonal with extreme moments bringing me to this fragile point where all I want to do is grab my handbag, jump on a plane and SMS them from Tahiti. I haven’t yet gone running and screaming for the border primarily due to SexyG hiding my passport (again, he sees the flight instinct kick in before I do..lol!) from me but also because I am first and foremost a mom and we never(almost never) leave the kids behind..but it doesn’t stop me from wishing for tall multi-coloured alcoholic beverages served to me on a quiet beach in another country where kids are afraid to enter for fear of getting shot.

Funny thing is… They don’t even realise what they do to me even though I am found scrounging the kitchen cupboard for drugs that will make me as numb as possible..The drool hanging off my lip and the manic look in my eye isn’t even enough to make them stop…

I am tired, just so tired. Why don’t they see this? Why are they still shouting at each other? Why are they ignoring my pleas for peace? Why is the bathroom towel lying in the passage? Can someone please flush the toilet? Assignments are due, PUT DOWN THE FUCKEN PS2 controller before I throw the whole fucken thing into the pool! Stop whining..stop acting shocked..stop talking back to me.. stop sulking..stop stop stop sToP STOP STOPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

S.N.A.P !!!!!

Its done, they have finally broken the momma..I go to my room and cry myself to sleep not sure of what I am doing that is soo wrong with them.. Do I not love them enough? Do I not give them enough? Do I not discipline them enough? Do I discipline them too much? Do I expect too much from them? Do they expect too much from me? Must sleep now.. when I wake up it will have all been a bad dream.

When I wake up they are still there.. but quieter. They heard the sound of my sanity break and are walking on eggshells. Because they don’t want me completely broken.,I will be useless to them then wont I?

But from this point on the buildup starts up all over again..until mommy goes snapperoony, and so on the cycle of events continue.. Bastards.

One Day though.. One Day I will find my passport has been hidden and all they will see is dust and hear the tone of my SMS as it arrives in their inbox ..

briget