Making an ass of oneself is hard work..

So I arrived at the gym the other day. Armed with water bottle and towel with my gym card tucked safely in my bra, ready to stretch and tone my lumps and bumps out. Its been months since I walked in to this establishment of thinly veiled torture and tried to keep as low a profile as possible in case my return is not as successful as I had first anticipated and I am forced to go home and lick my wounds for indefinite periods afterwards.

As I entered I remember I had left my musicthumper at home and groaned as I contemplated the boredom I will be experiencing on the treadmill.. However, I need not have concerned myself with that.. Plenty entertainment unfolded to keep me amused. Allow me to explain…

After spending what felt like a year or two I finally figured out how to drive the new treadmills there (its been that long) and started off with a reasonably slow pace easing my joints into action. After a few minutes the pool area caught my eye (all the treadmills overlook the pool below) as I saw what I thought was someone have an epileptic fit but thankfully before I ran all the way down (to do what I still don’t quite know)I saw that she was in fact a mom instructing her toddler in the fine art of windmilling in the pool.. As I continued watching in morbid fascination at her I noticed that the toddler agreed with my assessment that she is crazy and continued to doggy paddle to the other end before promptly getting out and demanding a towel and rub down.

Aaargh!!..The treadmill suddenly lurched into a higher gradient and brought me back to my task at hand which was to make friends with the treadmill and ultimately dominate this relationship we are about to form..pace adjusted, water swigged, I look ahead over the pool and see *windmill mom now over on the other side about to instruct the group of aqua aerobicers, aaaah..so she is an instructor.. not a crazed mom after all.. mental correction made.

I watched avidly to see what watersports she was going to entertain me with next and as I suspected she did not disappoint.. she had barely got them all in the water when the rap tunes started blaring from the speakers and she went about gyrating at a speed of knots leaving her audience baffled whether to try mimic her or just clap for her.. after a few concerned seconds had elapsed the group tried their best to join in her movements but it was a particularly tough act to follow with her jumping up and down on the side of the pool swinging her arms, shaking her head, kicking her legs so fast and so furious that it was difficult to tell where the one repetition started and the other ended all the while shouting for them to kick higher and move faster.. The group moved in the water in slow unison and if I was to hazard a rough guess I would say that they did one repetition to her twenty.

Which in itself is not bad considering they were under water and she was gyrating like a landlocked fish on the side of the pool.

Before I looked again I noticed my treadmill slowing down and realised that my time was done and suprise-suprise I had survived my first day back.. And did the one thing I didn’t know was possible, I left the gym with a smile on my face and a giggle in my throat!

And for that I thank the gyrating goose instructing the water wings in the pool in such an entertaining fashion..

Haven’t seen her there since, but look forward to her next performance…

*not her real name…