Time is a slow healer..

So yesterday was the day to celebrate mothers.. And for those of us who are mothers we were blessed with cuddles and loves from our offspring with promises of “the best behaviour ever!” from them. And for those of us who have their moms still around it was a day of saying thank you for being the best mom and show just how much we appreciate everything that they do and have done..

But there are those of us out there that shed more than just one tear yesterday. There are those of us out there who were reminded of what is lost. And no matter how much time passes, the pain never ceases to surprise us in its intensity.We put on our brave faces so that the kiddies don’t see our burden of loss and pain.

angel-mom

We find ourselves remembering all the Mothers Day’s of before, the joy on their faces when we took them to tea, the smiles that they so easily put forward to everyone around them and the obvious pride that they display when you are introduced to their friends as “…and this is my Baby..”

The memories that we hold of them are so few though and we find ourselves feeling resentment for not having more.. not having done more.. not being able to hug and love them more..

But we shrug our shoulders and turn our hearts and minds to the present day and hope no-one witnessed the moment of painful recollection.

Mothers Day … maybe next year I will shed less tears… maybe… maybe not..

So In memory of my mom I wrote this little poem..

My tears are shed when no-one looks,

I hide behind pillows, doors and books.

My heart breaks where no-one can see,

I hide behind jokes, smiles and glee.

You are gone, and time has still not healed,

I cry, I shout, I sob myself to sleep,

I will tell nobody, because for now my lips are sealed.

Between us though, I cannot hide.

I feel you in my quiet, sad moments,

I feel your love, I feel you sitting by my side.

It is then that the sobs quieten down,

It is then that that a small smile replaces my frown.

I wipe my eyes, I breathe in your love,

I want to hold on to you desperately but realise that your place is no longer here,

Your place is home to Angels, watching me from above.

But remember me and know..

That  I still keep a spot open for you in my heart.

I love you Mom, I love you more than I am able to show..

briget