I cannot tell a lie…
_Paint_Me_Pink_&_Spank_Me_With_Rubber_
..I understand that I am not easy..in fact I will normally tell you right away that complicated is my middle name along with difficult, unreadable, impatient, brilliant, naughty and dorothy..
I blame my parents for the naming bit.. “Briget Complicated Difficult Unreadable Impatient Brilliant Naughty Dorothy Ferguson” Not my fault as you can see..It’s a burden really!
Anyway.. so as much as I know this to be true I still want people to be nice to me, at the very least civil, you understand me so far?
So why are people such assholes to me? I actually getting very tired of the bullshit. I want people to either be respectful and polite to me or they must just FOAD.. Fair request I think.
It isnt like I go around looking for trouble, it just naturally hangs around me cos..uhm…*cof-cof*.. I make awesome tea! (I will wait till you stop laughing)
So when I hear of things being said of me or targeted to me I pause and think about what I may or may not have done to deserve it..and after much digging it would appear the truth is, it isn’t as much what I do, as much as what they do!
It would appear that my blog causes some consternation/sphincter aches for people.. They don’t mind acting like idiots and assholes and sociopathic morons..Nope, as long as no-one actually says anything about it they can go around pretending that it isn’t true.
THEN a braincell or two ignites in their cerebrum almost causing unknown damage as they decide to check up on me and read my blog. And whilst reading my blog the penny drops and they realise that the character they are laughing at is them.. And they go from laughing till the coffee comes out the nose to setting off the fire alarm at the office with the gusts of smoke emanating from the nostrils..Sufficiently pissed off because they don’t like what I have written, whether it is true or not is irrelevant(In fact they are more irate at the truth than anything else!), they come after me for blood and skin.
What am I going to do about this..hmm? Should I censor myself (and I do censor myself alot already. You should see the unposted stuff..)even more to please people OR should I continue to blog about the things that I want to blog about and in doing so lose more friends and alienate more people?
My brother used to say something as a young kid which I have heard him still mumble to this day “F@ck the People, I am the people..” I don’t completely believe that this is the correct way to behave as we should always be considerate of peoples feelings but if those people go out of their way to be rude, hurtful and poisonous, why should I be caring and considerate in return?!
I only write the truth, I do try to write from a more comical stance because the reality of it all is painful and serious enough.
At the core of it though I am just a girl, and this girl is tired of the conflict and drama and bullshit that people are causing for me. Although it could be argued that I cause a fair amount of it for myself because of what I have written.
Yes, my blog has some real saucy bits in it indeed.. I forget alot of what I write because of the therapeutic effect it has on me.. So I have spent a few days going back in my posts and rereading some stuff ..
And SHOOOOOOOWEEEEEE!!! AIKARUMBA! I have not held back too many punches have I?!?!?
I must’ve have been very angry at those moments as I can still feel some of my feelings come through as I read them to myself.. In fact people should be pleased that the only real venting I do is via my blog and that my urges are never truly acted upon.. less messy 
So I am still deliberating my position because I still have so much to say but I am tired of the crap. So do I move into complete anonymity or should I flip everyone the bird and try my best to ignore the #haters out there?!?
I will think about this for a little bit longer, I think.
While I do this, share with me..what are your opinions on this..do you have a blog?
How would you deal with this?
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Tracking..
Personally I would go anonymous. I is much easier and better. What do you think?
Po’s last blog post..Bank holiday
I like your blog the way it is, truly, because I live vicariously through you as I don’t post like this…
angel’s last blog post..Parents Prizes
This is an odd question; you ask: “Should I censor myself … even more to please people OR should I continue to blog about the things that I want to blog about and in doing so lose more friends and alienate more people?”
I would ask if you are really upsetting “friends” by what you post, or if you are lumping more people into “friends” than is accurate. If they really are friends, then I would wonder why you would choose to upset them in a public forum. If they aren’t actually friends, then I would wonder why what they say matters.
Blogging is difficult because it demands that a person read who you are, whereas in person, people tend to project who you are based on their own personality. In person people tend to give you a personality of their choice, but on a blog they are more limited from doing this.
Most of the relationships we have with people, even some intimate ones, are extremely shallow. So when people discover your blog, it is natural for them to be taken aback. You’ll have to determine what is more important to you, nurturing shallow relationships or opening up and allowing yourself to be.
If you are having tension with people who really aren’t friends, then I would wonder why you spend time writing about them. The more attention we give someone, the more control they have over our lives. You spend time thinking about them rather than what is important to you.
oh god
thank you for this post.
so much. this is where i am. thank you XXX
CATH’s last blog post..Protected: please remember
B, you write what you want to write. It’s your blog. If they don’t like it .. they can simply stop reading it (or FOAD, preferably!)
Don’t change a damn thing. There are plenty of people who like you exactly as you are. And we far outweigh the other assholes!!
I say ignore the haters… and stay YOU. But whatever you decide to do… do it because it’s what YOU want to do – not what you have been forced (or intimidated, even) into feeling that you have to do. I think you’re wonderful… and so do lots and lots of other people too. You should be proud of this blog… and the courage that it takes to be completely transparent and honest with the world. You are a brave girl! x
candy’s last blog post..the rules of the universe
Po – but then how will I become famooose?
Angel – You have? wow.. that means a lot coming from someone as awesome as you!
Greg – Hmmm… I see what you are saying,, “Lose Friends and alienate people” is just a term I used but perhaps incorrectly.. I am not in anyway indicating the loss of friends.. really just the alienation part..(have amended above
) My concern is entirely to those close to me that are hurt by others because I blog.. So its more of an indirectness.. However I want to thank you for your comment because it has helped me in clarifying some things and ultimately my final decision.. 
Cath – It is entirely my pleasure.. hows the Month going so far? Feel bored yet?
MsBehavn – yes, they should all FOAD!!
Candy – I agree.. ignoring the haters.. and being me is the only way forward..
Thanks for all your kind words!
MWAH!
I went through this when my ex and his gfriend found my blog!
I considered moving it and going totally anonymous and then thought FUCK IT!
Its MY BLOG! MY SPACE! The way I see it is that I post the truth – yes it is my truth but the truth non-the-less. AND at least I am not talking behind anyones back – they know up front how I feel!
So I remain determined to not do anything because of other people! If you want to read my blog then read it because you want to know how I feel not because you want to see what I say about you!
Laura’s last blog post..In your eyes I found the greatest prize