Things to bring that smile back..

Men/boys are very different to Women/girls..

And not just in the obvious ways either …

What I am talking about is the way they conduct themselves when in a relationship and more pointedly how they end it.

I have recently heard of not just one, but a few relationships that have been dealt dastardly blows by the men in them. Either by notifying the female counterpart that it is over via sms, or having affairs openly. And then there are those men that wont leave the women alone after being caught with their hands in someone else cookie jar.. and stalk the women in the hopes that they will panic and give in…

Whats up with that?

I am currently annoyed at silly people hurting other people for silly reasons.. and I have decided to share some ideas that I have on how to get your own back..

Now before you try any of these for yourself.. I have to make a few things clear.. I am not to be held liable for any repercussions that may or may not be incurred due to following these guidelines..K?

1. If you still have access to his place you could try these:

• Put some Liquid Veet(hair remover) in his conditioner bottle.
• Open a can of sardines and put some in his curtain pelmet if he has one or just tuck some in his couch or under the TV.
• Hide all the remotes.. all of them.. in fact take them with you.. He will be fuxxored.
• Replace his sugar pot with salt.
• Go to his wardrobe and write with a white marker “I am a dick” underneath his shoes.
• Superglue his bathroom cabinet door just ever so slightly.. when he tugs on it it will appear stuck and when he applies too much force it will give and smack him in the nose..
• Take a scissors and cut the toes off of all his socks..
• Loosen the seam of his pants by the bum.. not enough to flap open.. but enough to rip open at the best possible moment.

2. If you no longer have access to his place or you have moved out:

• Go to an internet cafe, create an anonymous gmail account. With this account you can go online and put an ad on Gumtree or any other free online classified website and place an ad in his name using his number for “Discreet Man-on-Man Action”.
• Block your cell number and phone your local Pizza place and order 12 Deep Pan Pizza’s in his name to be delivered when you know he is home. He will need to pay when it arrives.. and they dont take kindly to broken orders
• Send a Fax from a public fax facility to his work number marked for his attention thanking him for the great night ( don’t forget to add some sexual innuendo) .. sign it with a guys name.
• List his car as stolen.
• List his phone as stolen.

Ehem.. these are enough to get you started.. wouldnt want to give away all my brilliant idears .. hmmmmm

Oh and please.. lol.. don’t get caught!!

P.S. I am by no way advocating that all guys are bad.. just a few of them seem to give the rest a bad name.. and they need to be taught a lesson.. one way or another.