… you could always make a sign telling people how you feel!

Have a Fabulous Weekend.. and don’t let your mates near the crayons…

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Its raining..and I am irritated.. The rain has this effect on me..

Wish it would just dry up already.. Have a braai planned for Saturday and don’t want to have to burn meat from under a brallie.

Things at work are going quite well and I am pleased to announce that I am really happy with what I do even in those moments when it feels like I don’t have time for the loo break or if I have less time to do my girly stuff.. I just zip my lips and wear long pants and tie my hair up to hide all the grizzly bits and regrowth..

I recently did some research on Networking and have gathered some really interesting and useful advice.. wont bore you too much with the details but here is one tip I felt is worth a share..

Did you know that most people (work and personal) dont keep in touch or phone and will even walk past you without greeting BECAUSE they dont remember your name? The best way to combat this is to have a name tag or name badge!! In doing something as simple as wearing a name badge you instantly create an open door for introduction and become approachable.

Interesting hey?

AND on a completley different note:

Recently I have been checking the stats on my blog, you know.. the usual stuff.. search terms.. popular posts, etc. And of late one particular post has been getting loads and loads of airtime..

Unbelievable Stuff – a post I did on Fat Girls and Feeders almost a year ago..

Very interesting that a year later a post will suddenly get almost 25 hits a day… Why the sudden interest?

Suppose in life there very seldom is any real rhyme or reason.

Now to try and locate the crazy mamparra doing the flippen raindance and kill him…

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We have a Birthday boy in the HOUSE!!!

Its my oh so fabulously gorgeous SexyG’s birthday today. I dont really know how to tell him how much he has made a difference in my life because words fail me when I need them most..lol

BUT

Babes, I wrote this for you, to try tell you how much you mean to me.. and later.. later I will try show you

When I wake each morning,

You are there.. holding me..

When I fall asleep each night,

You are there..loving me..

Each step I take, each breathe I make,

You are there laughing with me..

I thank you for the moments we share,

the loving, the laughter, the tender care..

My love for you is so much more than I could’ve ever foretold,

My heart is yours..for your strong hands to cherish,love and hold..

So this is me.. telling you, the love of my life,

That I love you…with you, I am finally Alive..

Happy Birthday babes..

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I have had to change my name again..

I am trying to outrun the bizarreness of my life so lets keep our fingers crossed it doesnt figure out who I am, shall we?

I am currently listening to ABBA, its an ABBA type day, working as industriously as my MadCow allows me these days..

..anyway I was listening to some ladies chatting the other day about their impending weddings at the end of the year and the fact they are soooooo happy that they both outlived the future Mother-in-laws and therefore do not have the same shit all the rest of us have had to endure.. and it got me thinking..perhaps I got it all wrong back then?? Perhaps the real answer to the disaster called MIL is to either ship her to some foreign-country-I-cant-pronounce-or-spell or wait till you have outlived the old witch?

he-he-he.. next time around.. if I do the meringue dress thing again.. I am going to exercise my options..

It is now almost home time.. and I am looking forward to getting my weekend mojo on and chill with my ever fabulous SexyG..

Have a fabulous weekend and behaaaaveee!!

P.S. Poll is updated … So Vote People.. Vote!!

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Last night I went to bed with all the best intentions on this planet.  I was soo damn good I didnt ever squeeze in that extra episode of “Sanctuary” so that I could get enough sleep.

But I snoozed my alarm to death this morning.. so missed my gym workout. Then Had chaos and calamities ensue because HairyKnuckle couldn’t organise a threesome in a brothel and I AM SUDDENLY to blame for her *stupidity and laziness.

And so on the day went… I had to stand in a damn stupid long queue for school uniforms… I wont even get into the insanity at Checkers and CNA for school stationary.. Some moms can get quite aggressive over pens!!

And at the end of it all??? It started raining outside while I was cutting the boys hair.. so I now have hair glued to my legs..

Its a Monday.. I should be in the office. Working. Sorting. Filing. Answering phones. Drawing up Marketing Plans. Doing Quality control on completed work. Spell check even for crying out loud! Paying work, you know what I mean?

*sigh*

This other stuff got me some hugs and smiles though… and a promise of a game of Uno later..So with that I resign my day.. and hope tomorrow to bury myself in more sophisticated madness…

Just two more sleeps then I get to send the buggers back to school!! Whoop-Whoop!!

*she was born this way..

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2003

Arsefuk had been acting moody all morning.. Daisy, a friend from Jozi, was visiting for a few days and I was concerned that he was annoyed with her presence.. He did not like people staying over.. but I hadnt had a friend over for quite awhile.. so I didn’t think he would be so bothered.

What I didnt know was that I would never forget that morning and the events for a very long time.

It was early.. His agitation was clearly evident.. It almost looked like each hair on his body was standing to attention. He was getting ready for work and I could take it no longer. I asked him to come outside for a minute because I needed to talk to him. Daisy and the kids were still sleeping and I didn’t want them to hear.

It was soo quiet outside, and the sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. Salt & Pepper,my two border collies, were sooo excited to see us walking in the garden so early that they grabbed some toys, wagged their tails and followed.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “There is obviously something going on and I just can’t take it anymore..”

He cocked his head to one side and said “It’s nothing, leave it alone”

I persisted, I probably shouldn’t have..I probably shoud’ve walked away right then and there.. Maybe things would’ve been so different. Maybe..

“Come on… I know something is going on. You are barely speaking to me. You disappear to the room when you are home and when Daisy talks to you then you just mumble and walk off. Do you want me to ask Daisy to go?”

“Briget, Its not Daisy. She is fine..” was his response.

A long pause ensued as I saw he had more to say…

After a few moments.. he blurted “Briget, I don’t like YOU… I think you are loud, uncouth,fat and gross.urrgh!”

I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.. I couldn’t breathe..Was I hearing right? But before I could ask anything further he continued to talk..

“I have felt this way for years..You disgust me, You embarrass me in front of people all the time with how loud you are and I don’t like it. You are ugly and fat and I don’t find you sexually appealing at all.. I have been wanting to say this to you for a many years and just didn’t know how..I mean, look at you!.. Who would want to climb into bed with you?”

OMG, I am crying.. no sobbing.. how? why? when? I am officially dying on the inside..

Between tears and sobs and breaking heart, I manage to speak..”You gave NO idea that this was how you felt. 10 years.. we have been married for 10 years.. and now.. NOW you say this to me? 10 years of me trying to change for you.. 10 years of me sacrificing my life for you? 10 FUCKEN YEARS!?!? ”

“I don’t understand how you could do this to me.. Now? this morning? WHY NOW?” I am repeating myself, I know, but I am confused. I need answers, I just can’t think of the right questions…He tried to walk towards me and I stepped back instinctively, in case he grabbed me by the throat to get me to lower my voice .. “DONT.TOUCH.ME!” I growled at him.. too hurt and upset to care about whether my mom could hear us.

He stood there in the garden, and continued talking to me about how he felt, getting it off his chest as he put it.. I finally understood why he hasn’t kissed me in 9 years, he told me he just didn’t like it.. turns out he just didn’t like it with me. I finally understood why I wasn’t allowed near his work, why he never liked people to visit, why we never went anywhere, why our anniversary dinners consisted of KFC, why he never sat with me on the couch, why he and I lived separate lives..

I finally understood.. but the understanding did not come cheap. It cost me my heart, my dignity, my pride..

[I sometimes look back and wonder if he wasn't having an affair at the time.. doesn't really matter now. Him declaring an affair though would've hurt far less to be honest.]

It all fell into place..I stood there in the garden..and listened..too numb to do much of anything else I suppose. Turns out he had a WHOLE lot of stuff to get off his chest that morning.

Eventually when he ran out of insults and “truth” he said goodbye and went to work..leaving me standing there in the garden with the dogs looking on at me with pitiful eyes.. I do not want pity.. I do not need pity.

So I dried my eyes.. composed myself and went inside as if nothing much was going on.. No one needs to know the truth of how pathetic my life truly is..this is for me to deal with.. but not right now.. I can’t think too much of anything right now..

No one knew of what happened that day. I never spoke of it to anyone till almost 2 years later.. It was my burden.. All mine.. to speak of it would’ve have disabled me with pain. He never spoke of it again as if it never happened.. and I only allowed myself to cry at night, alone in bed, where no one had to see my pain..

I did make decisions though that day. I decided that I was going to take control of MY life and never allow anyone that kind of control over me ever again.

I went on the TLC and allowed the nazi’s there to help me shed the weight. Was the hardest thing in the world (anyone with post-baby weight will understand) But this was very important for me. For no-one else but me.

I went and got sterilised so that I could make plans for my future without worrying about falling pregnant again. Pregnancy made me very ill and I couldn’t have that anymore.

I gave my Computer Business all of my energy regardless of what he said. I was going to be a success and did it all on my own with no help from him. Not that he would, he wouldn’t even sit in my shop so that I could go to the doctor. But I didn’t care. I was not going to be dependent on him for anything anymore.

And two years later…when I could no longer tolerate his indifference, his verbal and physical abuse, his total lack of commitment, when I felt stronger and more confident in myself..

.. I left him.

And have never ever looked back.

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The Gautrain has finally arrived…fully loaded!

“The economy seats were a BIG hit with the locals – Gautrain Spokesperson”

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This was sent to me so I cannot take credit… but this is the truth all the same..

It  was  the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The  cookies I’d nibbled,
the chocolate I’d taste
At the  holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When  I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I  walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I’d  remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and  sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the  bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank  you, please.”

As  I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once  again to do battle with dirt…
I said to myself, as I only  can,
“You can’t spend a summer, disguised as a man!”

So,  away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit  cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I  like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have  vanished.

I  won’t have a cookie, not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew  on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn  bread, or pie.
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m  hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore…
But isn’t that  what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

-unknown

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[Warning:- this is longwinded and may induce comatose like symptoms.. But its my story so read the damn stupid thing and be happy for me..k?]

—————————————–

Going on holiday.. we all need it.. regardless if the holiday is more strenuous than life at home or not. It is the change in scenery and timetables. You are surrounded by new and different things to do and this is what makes us feel so relaxed and at peace when we return to our own personal comfort zones.

I haven’t been on holiday for such a long time really because I tend to put it off for later because there is no money/no time/nowhere I want to go/I’m too lazy to organise it.. and before you know it a year has gone by and you are still just a vessel of empty promises at home..

My sister grabbed me by the short and curlies (I was due for a wax) and said that she was not taking NO for an answer and we are going CAMPING!!

I made LOADS and LOADS of grumbles and moans as I haven’t really camped before and the thought of being eaten by bears does not appeal to me.. but the kids were keen and SexyG promised to take really good care of me and my sensitivity (besides the thought of nookie in a tent was appealing)..

It was a fun filled event and I have put all the pics I took on my Facebook Profile here and here ..

Friday

Left early on Friday.. was most probably the hottest day on earth with my eyeballs melting which made the 150km drive not the most pleasant experience for all of us.  We went in two cars with my sisters car crammed with tents, sleeping bags, pumps, bikes and other arb camping gear that I don’t know about… I had all the kids in mine and the food.. so we were sorted..hehehe..

We got a bit lost looking for the turn off to ClearWaterTrails Camp but after a few phone calls we found it..(if it was a snake we would all be bitten stukkend…just BTW). And such a nice venue.. It is a MTB camp so the kids almost immediately jumped on their bikes to go. The Rocket and SexyG started by putting up the tents and blowing up our beds.. It was inconsiderately hot still and I was afraid I may pass out if I moved..So I did the smart thing and I lay on the grass with my sister and watched them..  As soon as the camp site was set up the guys got all there gear on and went on a ride on one of the easy trails and my sister and I were left alone to explore the campsite and see what is going on. The place was fabulous!!! They had a communal kitchen fully stocked with a open lounge!! How cool is that? Apparently this is not the norm and I am just a lucky girl..!! There was also Open Outdoor Showers (big and sexy)and an Open Toilet facility so you can watch the kangaroos bounce around outside while in the middle of whatever Number you are doing on the crapper.. fun eh?

For dinner I had premade a chicken curry and once we managed to locate all the kids ( big and small) and convinced them that a shower is needed we all sat around the BIG dining room table outside the communal kitchen that overlooks the Umtamvuna Gorge and we ate.. heartily.. and relaxation was the tone of the evening..

After dinner the kids played scrabble and Uno and us adults poked fun at each other over coffee and chocolate till late..

What we didn’t realise while doing all this fun stuff is that it rained quite heavily outside and “SOMEONE” had left a flap open in the one tent that us big kids were going to share and it rained in.. by our pillows nogal..So armed with wet pillows, sheets and accusations we did the best we could with a bad and wet situation and got down to some serious cuddling.. (I wasn’t allowed to do nookie cos my sister threatened bodily harm if we did any funky monkey while she is in earshot … *sigh*).

Saterday

Woke up at around 6am after having a fabulous sleep to find the weather was marvelous.. the heat had dissipated and it was slightly overcast and cool. The guys immediately donned their lycra and other gear and jumped on their bikes with promises to return as soon as possible and that they will cook the breakfast.. The kids awoke and did the same.. So Sis and I rustled up some coffee,grabbed our books and lay in bed reading till they returned, cool hey?

Breakfast

When they returned the skottle was hauled out and bacon and eggs permeated the air with its yumminess.. it was awesome.. after  breakfast the kids and guys disappeared on their bikes again to explore some more trails.

Coffee Farm

My sis and I decided a walk was in order and we went off armed with a map to find THE COFFEE FARM.. Sounded like the place to be.. but after walking for awhile we realised we were lost..lol.. Our first clue was that we stumbled on a local settlement and it was obvious that we didnt belong by looks and fingers pointing in our direction.. I whispered to my sis that this is why I need a GPS and shouldnt be left on my own..A few locals walked up to us and in my broken kitchen zulu (which consists mainly of swearwords and naughty actions) I managed to explain that we were looking for the COFFEE FARM, either that or I told him  that I was in love with a mielie’s.. either way we ended up with an escort of 5 local ladies armed with babies walking at a pace of knots through what can only be described as their shortcut.. after walking for about 10 minutes we heard this godawful wail of a sound and turned around to see a little girl following us wailing away.. ( I took pics.. go look here)..shame man!

At long last the COFFEE FARM appeared before us and it was all that and more! The coffee was fabulous and they had tasting tours and bottomless coffee. What more could I ask for? A comfortable couch and my book while a half nekkid guy massages my feet with his buttocks..perhaps. After a few moments of quiet bliss, the kids located us and insisted we buy them all JUMBO chocolate milkshakes to perk up their energy reserves.. and then they skadaddled off to ride some more.. The guys also located us there and we bought them some chocie milkshakes too.. cos we WANT to take advantage of them later and their reserves are important to us..

After consuming enough bottomless coffee to kick start a boeing 747 we headed home escorted by my Big Boy J so that we dont get lost again… back at the camp he left us and went to join the others on the trails and we just collapsed in the communal lounge too pooped to party..

Viewpoint

The Rocket and SexyG graced us with their prescence after a while and we took a walk to the Viewpoint which overlooks the Gorge.. How beautiful!! Oh man, It was stunning.. so stunning.. I could hear the cows bleating from the other side of the gorge, just awesome! The guys went off the platform to have a better look and my sister suffered an ass collapse in anxiety(not a pleasant sight I must say).. Ther was this other dude there too.. and he was taking pics of a rock with a camera lens big enough to capture life on mars..

Waterfall

Once we located all the kids and hid their bikes we all went down to the waterfall.. and I was promptly attacked by ants all the way down.. ( I think I screamed a bit ).. bastard ants. The waterfall was lovely.. the water was freezing but it was just soo awesome.. it reminded me of the waterfall we used to play at as kids.. The trip back was fraught with angry ugly ants.. but i just ran screaming all the way.. ain’t life fun?

The day winds down…

The kids and guys rode all day really.. and at the end of it.. there was only one thing left.. cries of agony and pitiful moans because they have sore bums.. their asses are officially protesting and require down time..

SexyG was fine.. his tushie is used to it.. but the kids were just so full of complaints & The Rocket had his tushi massaged by my sister with arnica oil to enable him to sit on it..

So we had a skottle braai for dinner and the kids had roasted marshmallows for pudding..

I had a fabulous outdoor shower with SexyG ….Oh Oh Oh soo fabulous.. (saw no kangaroo’s though)..

Going to bed I discovered that even though our tent was dry this time around,SOMEONE left the tent flaps open again and little crickets were lying in wait for me so that they could attack me in bed..bastard things.. But I showed them the door and  finally cuddled down with SexyG and we slept soundly together.. (The Rocket complained for awhile about his sore ass before falling asleep..I was too nervous to ask what they were upto..lol!)

Sunday

Early start again (7am) and I was surprised to learn that even though most of them couldn’t sit down.. all of them jumped on their bikes and set off to get in One Last Ride...lol!

On their return we had some breakfast and then we all took to disassembling our camp site and hitting the road..  It was time to go.. and sadness was abound..

I bought some Knik-Knaks from the campshop to bring home and we said our goodbyes to Jan and Natalie who were superbly friendly and fabulous camp hosts!

The trip home was easier than the trip there due to the weather being friendlier.. and I was very happy to be home at the end of it..

… nothing quite like home, don’t you agree?

So now I have given you a quick overview of my trip.. nothing dramatic happened like bear attacks.. but i found myself relaxing and do much of nothing.. I didnt get my book finished but I did manage to discharge my capacitors ready to take over the world yet again!!!

And having The Rocket there with SexyG made this a laugh a minute trip that will see me giggling in my sleep for months to come!!

Thanks everyone… I loved every minute of it.. even when I couldn’t get my feet clean enough or when the showers went from hot to cold every 5 seconds and even when I discovered that the one bike chipped the paint off the back bumper of my car…

…can’t wait to go again..

P.S. I even made a Desktop Wallpaper for you to download in the Facebook Album.. cool hey!?

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Watch this space!!!

Details to follow shortly(as soon as I get a moment I will bore you with my tales)…

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