Ugly assed hairy buggers that piss everywhere..

Monkeys, Monkeys, Monkeys, Ugly assed , Hairy backed, tail swinging, vile, disgusting, evil, cheeky, stupid, lice infested complete WASTE OF SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DISLIKE HATE WANNA STRANGLE THEM SOOOOOOO MUCH!

tank i need guns Ugly assed hairy buggers that piss everywhere..

*breathe-breathe*

  • They piss on my car.. MY CAR!.. i will wash it today.. tomorrow It is covered by monkey piss and thats not all.. they also play in their own piss.. little handprints everywhere as they rubbed it around..I mean sis sis sis.. vomit!
  • steal my fruit..have to hide it in the microwave now and normally forget about it as it rots quietly in there..
  • scare my kids..shame man!
  • try to steal food from my hand..can you believe? dangling from branches as I walk past to chomp my sarmie!
  • play with their unmentionables on the driveway.. sis man, sit weg!! I could just whip them with hoses..
  • pull my rubbish out the bins.. Aaargh!.. its soo nasty when your rubbish is lying around for the whole world.. thats why the bags are black..once its thrown in there it should NEVER be viewed again..
  • they taunt the neighbors dogs.. and then I want to strangle those buggers too!
  • they make a big noise.. having monkey fights over who has the bigger shlong!
  • make a big mess..pissing and shitting and destroying everything
  • they serve no purpose.. show me one..just one
  • I dont think they are cute at all…No way..not even the babies…hairy buggering bollocks!

I need a gun.. A BIG ASS gun..with super powerful bullets that will blow them into smithereens.. no carcasses.. NOTHING!!

Where do I buy one of these?? And how much are they??

briget Ugly assed hairy buggers that piss everywhere..

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19 Comments

  1. Rexmanthe
    Sep 10, 2008

    SIS! Don’t talk about your kids like that!!

  2. Glugster
    Sep 10, 2008

    Please don’t go ape-shit on us.

  3. B
    Sep 10, 2008

    Rexmanthe – lol.. no man.. the monkeys.. BLOODY MONKEYS!!

    Glugster – I am close.. very very close!!

  4. IdleLayabout
    Sep 11, 2008

    Here you go, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barrett_M82
    This will red-mist a monkey at 2km, although your neighbours may complain about the noise ;-)

  5. Spencer
    Sep 11, 2008

    I have on occasion played with my unmentionables in the driveway….

  6. Juno
    Sep 11, 2008

    Oh, joy to find someone who loathes monkeys as much as I do. My particular bugbear is baboons – and baboon-huggers. They have all the disgusting attributes you list in your post, but on top of that, they are exceedingly cunnning and ugly. So when you get your baboon gun, feel free to unleash it on the baboons of the Cape Peninsula. http://salma-gundi.blogspot.com/2008/09/why-i-loathe-baboons-and-cape-towns.html

  7. cheapthrills
    Sep 11, 2008

    have you tried spraying them with the hosepipe?

    monkeys are scared of water.

    ah, the joys of living in durbs. our monkeys used to throw avos at the maid when she shouted at them trying to chase them away.

    hosepipe works.

  8. Stef
    Sep 11, 2008

    i never knew you lived in a zoo???

    :) ~

  9. B
    Sep 11, 2008

    IdleLayabout – wooohoooo… doesnt look like much does it? but does it come in pink??

    Spencer – lololololololol… I am too scared to ask why!

    Juno – aaargh, yes.. bastard things.. some people are just clueless.. can you believe I have seen some people in the neighbourhood feeding them!! :-O !!

    CHeapthrills – they too fast.. I need something i can load and aim faster..

    Stef – yes, yes, :-P everyones a comedian.. till its YOUR CAR they are pissing on!

    ;-)

  10. Goblin
    Sep 11, 2008

    I’ll get my air rifle!

  11. IdleLayabout
    Sep 11, 2008

    Silly question, of course they come in pink..
    http://www.cavalryarms.com/galleries/oleg/017.jpg

  12. Charmskool
    Sep 12, 2008

    I can’t stand baboons! A monkey nearly mugged me for my Woolworths low fat chips! I think chimps are fabulous though, but not in circuses or adverts or dressed up in human clothes – that’s cruel. I guess now I’m just monkeying around with you chicka.

  13. B
    Sep 12, 2008

    Goblin – I ljust love a girl who comes armed.. you are SUCH a babe!

    Idlelayabout – woohooo!! I’ll take two!

    Charmskool – I will build a cage for you girl.. and taunt you with nekkid greek boys..k?

  14. Tamara
    Sep 15, 2008

    Hehe… that’s one thing I don’t miss about living in Kzn ;-)

  15. Charmskool
    Sep 15, 2008

    I don’t believe you about the nekkid Greek boys – you’re just playing with my mind aren’t you? I live in hope….

  16. Goblin
    Sep 16, 2008

    Look, I’m not bringing my rifle unless you post something new :P

  17. Charmskool
    Sep 16, 2008

    I’ve tagged you babe!

  18. B
    Sep 16, 2008

    Tamara – hmmmm.. i should tell them where you live now..

    Charmskool – I will have to send you some pics..

    Goblin – bf has been keeping me kneedeep in work lately.. blame him!!

    Charmskool – really?

  19. angel
    Sep 16, 2008

    oh my goodness… that was funny yet i feel your frustration!!!

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