Being my birthday weekend I took an hour off earlier yesterday to run some personal errands… So after much cleavage showing and promises of worthwhile moments I set off on my way..

With my BFF in the car, we went and exchanged some clothing.. eyeballing other soon to be acquired items.. I did buy a bottle of stunning slutty red nail varnish (which looks FABULOUS on me BTW!) and some other goodies that all girls know are a necessity to look drop dead gorgeous!

I had a wax appointment for later on in the afternoon to ..ehem.. remove tumbleweed from under my armpits.. supposed to be my last stop really.. because being such a painful procedure i prefer to go home directly and lick my wounds..but this was not to be.. *sigh*

Why not you ask?.. good question!

Well, before the wax appointment I was going to pick up SexyG’s lovely little darlings from the *Mcdonalds. BUT on the way there I am told that Hairy Knuckle needs more time to get the girls ready and can I collect them afterwards? Ok, fine… no problem.. definitely throws abit of a spanner in things because by then it will be dark and I am not entirely fond of driving around at night and DEFINITELY don’t like the thought of sitting outside the frikken Macdonalds at night..Dodgy place!

So I slurp down the dregs of my coke and the BFF and I shoot off to the “House of Wax” .. My waxlady was ever so nice as always.. (I just love her) and as she ripped the hair from my body in strips with tears welling in my eyes ,she remembered it was my birthday and wished me, I grunted a thank you while my BFF took great pleasure in watching me and adding commentary like she was watching a frikken rugby match..and after almost an hour of this I was released from her boudoirs and I felt like I had been skinned alive and will need turpentine dressings in various areas ..*sob*..

I then head off to McDonalds..again.. and it looks even more dodgy the second time around..oh well!

6.00pm comes and goes… still waiting.. getting cold and QG and I are painfully aware of the hobo’s circling our car amost like they know something we dont.. Then I phone SexyG.. ask him whether he heard anything from the Horrid Hairy Knuckle to say she would be late.. and then she pulls in.. I say never mind.. she is here..

I get out, open the back door for the girls and she half climbs, half falls out and stops the girls from climbing out.. In my mind I am thinking..”ah fekkit, she is going to get full of shit now..”

Hairy Knuckle :- “B, the girls need to be back on sunday at 9am. And if you cant guarantee this then I dont think its a good idea they come with you..”

Me:- ” oh, ok.. Have you spoken to SexyG about this at all?”

Hairy Knuckle :-” I just phoned him and spoke to him but he couldn’t guarantee it for 9am and I have plans for the girls”

Now why weren’t these plans expressed before now? This is my second trip to this here dodgy place.. And NOW she has new terms and conditions for me to contend with?

Me:- ” I am sure it wont be a problem but I am not 100% up to speed with the plans.. will need to confirm a few things with SexyG..”

Hairy Knuckle :-” Well, I need to take a friend to the airport and the girls need to come with to say goodbye..”

Me:-” In that case, No problem… the airport is not far from us.. we can have them there for you at 9am.. ”

Hairy Knuckle :- ” No that wont be suitable, I want them to spend some time with her before she goes..”

WTF??

Me:- ” As I said, will need to chat with SexyG but I dont thing it will be a problem..”

Hairy Knuckle :- ” No, I dont think this is a good idea, If you can guarantee me ”

Me:- ” So what you are saying is that the girls are not coming for the weekend?”

Hairy Knuckle :- “Yes”

At this point I am sooo angry with this ignorant little twat for fucking me around like this, but mostly I feel bad for the little girls in the car who came so close to see their daddy only to have it taken away.. Almost like going to a sweetshop and looking at all the sweets and having a few offered to you, and when you reach to take one it gets smacked out of your hand..

I go to close the back car door.. which I opened for them earlier.. and see QG is watching this interaction with interest, obviously wondering why I havent given Hairy Knuckle a “runningfuckslap”..

Me:- ” You are just wasting my time..”

And with that I got in my car and she drove off..

Not a good start to a birthday weekend.. but whatever.. I still have my stunning slutty red nailvarnish and of course I am guaranteed some loving time with SexyG when I get home More than makes up for it!

Tonight I am going out and partying up a storm.. But first in the morning I will be doing a funwalk at the school with the kids.. and possibly some more **preemptive shopping ..hehehe!

*Hairy Knuckle wont let us pick them up from their home for reasons only her small misguided mind will understand.

** window shopping in anticipation of actual shopping to cut down actual shopping time in future.. make sense?

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OMW… just read Sheena’s post.. and I am gobsmacked at how fabulous everyone was to her! And I am ever so dem happy for her and the it all contributed into making her birthday even more fantastic..(although I am abit concerned by the teargas gift..lol)

But I am Jealous demmit… yes.. i said it..jealous!

Ok.. so i thought that I should make a wishlist aswell.. but this is in the hopes that people who know me and love me (yes, sussie.. I am talking to you!) will see what it is I really want instead of saying.. “but I didnt know what to get you”.. as they hand over some bath salts and shaped soaps..you with me?

There isnt much time left and I am hoping its not too late to go take the bath salts back.. So QueenG, SexyG and other friends and family… here it is!

My Want/Need/Wish list …

• Iphone ( they really nice!)
• new TB drive (running out of space AGAIN!)
• Some new Perfume (hhmmm… love smellies)
• Couple nice new Handbags and Shoes to match (..gold, black and red)
• Tiara – (Stef has inspired me..)
• A day at the Spa. Allover body treatment served strawberries by semi nekkid dudes *sigh*..
• A garage for my car… ( tired of monkeys shitting on it..bastards)
• My edgars debt to be cleared.. (they wont let me shop till I pay them.. stupid policy)
• New Keyboard with matching mouse .. (have to guess which key is which)
• *NEW* A new sports bra ( since I am back at the gym)
• *NEW* A Big Afro Wig (I think they are cool..)
• *NEW* Surprise Birthday party ( I promise to act surprised)
• Thats all for now.. will add as I remember more neediness..

So guys.. If you are here because i phoned your hairy ass and told you to read this.. take heed and get with the program.. k? No Pressure.. lol..

But if like me you are broke, you are forgiven and I still love you.. MWAH!

…5 more sleeps and then I will be *coff-coff* 34 *coff-coff*..

...4 more sleeps

…3 more sleeps

P.S. Oh and I promise to act surprised!

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I am phasing.. Have bad hair.. Am *retaining water.. Didn’t sleep very well last night I don’t think.. Kids are playing the “lets see how big we can get mommy’s vein on her forehead” game again.. Clients not paying on time .. Birthday looming.. Almost incinerated my fingers on the radiator switch this morning.. Internet has been broken for most of the day…

So here I am.. on the precipice of killing the first person brave enough to make eye contact.. Just waiting.. yep waiting..for that ONE person.. you know – that ONE person who just cant resist to smack a hornets nest.. Lives on the edge.. We all know someone like that.. Thinks he is smarter than everyone else and laughs at all his own jokes..YEP HIM!

Well, I am waiting.. In fact .. It would be a saner option for him to wireless bungee jumping than mess with me today.. Just saying

So PUNK.. Ya feeling lucky?

* nice way of saying I cant fit into my jeans…

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Ah man.. I get little letters in the office from time to time from my boys.. normally when they want something or to suck-up cos they know they been full of dwang and punishment is looming!!!

But every now and again I get a REAL GEM!!

My youngest “D” is 10 and he such a darling.. full of poo and will push his luck every chance he gets.. but I wouldnt trade* him for anything in the world..

This is what I got delivered on my desk late last night while I was doing some task my eldest “J” whined me into doing..

Please note the heart cutout in the corner.. cute, eh?

The text on the page…

“I Love you Mom “

The text on the page…

“I hope you dont get sick becuse I am growing up now and soon I will have to live on my own I love you mom “

Further down the page he signed it with all his love and put a sticker of **batman …oops I mean…***spiderman next to it..

10 and he is already thinking of moving out.. either I am doing things wrong or right??

I love the kid.. he got loads of hugs and kisses for this one.. Makes up for all the other moments when I understood why some animals eat their young..

* tried Pawning once or twice but they wanted me to pay in..

** ok ok.. so i got the names mixed up.. got batman on the brain I think..

*** he loves batman and has far too many stickers of the webby dude..

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I do not generally go into the whole horoscope crap and don’t walk under ladders bullocks.. but since it is soooo close to the day of birth for me .. I take time to reflect the brilliance that I am and all those that may share in this self love as it were.. And who else would understand fully, besides a fellow Virgoan?

Just a little known fact about us.. We aren’t really perfect.. Its just hard for most people to tell though!

Here are the rest of the facts I have compiled for all non virgoans to read in order to make us seem more humane and lovable..

Virgo – The Virgin

23 August ~ 23 September

Friends and Family
A Virgo is a helpful friend to have indeed. They are excellent at giving advice, and they really know how to problem solve. You’ll find that a Virgo will remind you to take good care of yourself, as health is a focal point for them. And when the meal is done, they’ll be the first to jump up and start the dishes. Loving and dedicated to family, the Virgo is also first on the scene when care is needed. When someone reaches old age or is ill, the Virgo will be there doing all that is needed. The Virgo is not known for showing their feelings. They prefer to show through deed than by word.

Career and Money
“I analyze” is the key phrase for the Virgo personality, while “practicality” is the keyword. Industrious, discriminating, and scientific by nature, the Virgo really knows how to get to the heart of the matter. They are exceptionally methodical and do well in jobs that require organization. If there’s anything out of order, set a Virgo to the task! Virgos tend to like instructions, on boxes, packages, books, or whatever. Take the instructions away and they often panic. When focused on a task, the Virgo will push themselves to perfection, leaving no stone unturned. They are exacting and take great pride in a job done to the absolute best of their ability. When they feel their talent falls short, they’ll turn to the books to learn whatever they need to improve. Careers suited to this sign include being a doctor, nurse, psychologist, teacher, writer, and critic.Virgos are excellent with their money. They generally keep a strict grasp on what they spend, and strive to put away as much money as they can. They plan well in advance for expenditures, and when it comes to shopping, they aren’t apt to overspend. Every now and then the Virgo can be seen buying themselves something of beauty, though. They love the arts and enjoy decorating their homes with taste.

Love and Sex
It’s important for the Virgo lover to feel needed by their mates. Outside of the bedroom is where the majority of foreplay is going to happen for this sign. Tactile, methodical and willing to take as long as is needed, they make excellent lovers. Even though the Virgo won’t express many words of love, they will show their affections in the bedroom. Virgos prefer to have a few strong connections rather than many partners. Life partners are chosen based on how important and needed the Virgo feels they are in their lives. They are dedicated spouses that love to live on the wild side once and a while.

Colors
The colors of choice for Virgo are green and dark brown. AAAAAARGH pink demmit pink!

Gemstone
Virgo’s star stone is the sardonyx – the reddish brown variety.

Lucky Numbers
Virgo’s lucky numbers are 2, 5, and 7.

Compatibility
Virgos are most compatible with Capricorn and Taurus.Ehem… I prefer my Aquarius, thankyou!

Opposite Sign
The opposite sign for Virgo is Pisces.

The top things to come from being a Virgo..

• Give the best critical reviews..
• So Neat and Clean..
• Will do the worrying for you..
• Keep your standards high..
• Great comedic timing..
• So good at hiding emotions..
• Can model for obsessive-compulsive ads..

Here are just some of the millions of Famous Virgo’s (There were sooo many but I just picked a few to show you the brilliance that is so apparent)

• Barry White – American singer
• Beyonce Knowles – Lead singer of Destiny’s Child
• Bruce Springsteen – Singer
• Cameron Diaz – Attractive and successful actress
• Claudia Schiffer – Famous model
• David Copperfield – Famous magician
• Gloria Estefan – Musician and skank
• H G Wells – English Writer
• Henry Ford II – American car manufacturer
• Ivan Pavlov – 1849-1936, Russian phsyiologist
• Julio Iglesias – Musician
• Roald Dahl – Famous author of books for children
• Stephen King – Popular contemporary author
• Tim Burton – Director of smash hit film Batman
• Van Morrison – Musician

So to steal a phrase from the queen of all desperado’s ..“Pick me, choose me, love me”..

BTW.. This is an excerpt of the MEAN HOROSCOPE I thought you may enjoy ..

-Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while doing it. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

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My day of birth is looming.. preparations need to be made.. Yes-Yes-Yes.. Not the sort of preparations that you would expect however.. There are behind the scene stuff that happens that no-one is aware of..

Since the first day of birth, my birthday has been shared with my brother.. and no, we are not twins.. I just so happened to be born on his 6th birthday.. and my Dad in all his bloody wisdom told him I was his birthday present.

*sigh*

..This is not the smartest thing for an adult to say to a 6 Year Old – particularly not to my boet.. I love him dearly, but I was a teeny-weeny-little-bit-of-a-thing, just handed to my brother and he must’ve thought I was some kind of weird looking doll that doesn’t actually do much of interest.. You get my direction?

Oh my word.. the personal torment I have endured by those ill-spoken words of my parental unit all those years ago at the hospital.. I cannot begin to tell you about.. Lets just say my boet now sleeps with one eye open when we share a roof.

Anyway.. thats all another story for another day..back to me and my day of birth..

A few years back (+-10 years ago) I told my brother that I am tired of sharing my birthday with him.. I get half the presents.. I have to share a cake.. share the birthday money..share the birthday party.. it just sucks..and I just wasnt going to take it anymore.. So I told him that from then on the first person to phone and say happy birthday wins the day! So each year after that I wake up before any of the sparrows even think of farting and phone my Boet. He is not a morning person so he isn’t firing on all cylinders so early.. I say “Happy Birthday!” and thats that.. he is not allowed to talk about his birthday for the rest of the day.. It is ALL MINE!!

My Birthday.. My cakes.. My friends.. My presents.. My party!

So far I have won each year.. AND-IT-NEEDS-TO-STAY-THAT-WAY!!

..Its all in the attitude.. I am a winner.. not a weiner.. baby!

The countdown has begun…15 more sleeps.. what will I get this year?

P.S. Watched the best movie last night with my mates (What Happens in Vegas).. OMF I laughed sooo much at the Revenge Plot!

Watch the attached youtube clip.. It will make you cry..hahahahahahh!

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I was on a great road, fitness wise that is, a few weeks back..

I faced a big fear..running and conquered it.. then my wheels fell of my trolley and I was left lying on the floor looking helplessly on as my wheels ran down the hill without me.

Yes, I was hit with a bout of madcow.. Drooling, incoherent, crying for no bloody good reason, bouts of anger and general ugliness.. But this is officially a thing of the past! Whatever first made me want to murder, maim and destroy has left the building.. I have killed my MAdCow ..dead, stukkend, shattered!!

But there were some casualties in this war I declared upon myself.. I stopped training.. Aarrrgh! I have lost all levels of fitness in such a short time.. It almost makes me want to cry again! But to give into the Madcow now will truly mean the end of me..

So on monday I will be doing the ultimate face-off at the gym to determine just how bloody unfit I am so that I can once again get back on my horse and continue with the one thing I really want to do! Run.. I really enjoy it.. for some insane reason it makes me feel free and in control. And I love control, just like the next girl.. If not more..

So wish me luck as I snap on the spandex, tuck in the boobs, staple back the hair,synchronise my tunes, shove my feet in my tekkies and hit the treadmill!

So when next you are in the gym..sing with me…

“Do your boobs hang low ~ do they wobble to and fro ~ can you tie them in a knot ~ can you tie them in a bow.. Do your boobs hang low..”

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I did it..

Been threatening to for days.. so I did it.. was helluva nervous about doing it.. What if it came back with negative results? How would I cope.. My bubble burst?

I NEVER take a test I dont think I am going to ACE.. I dont really recall failing tests as such as a kid (we will not talk about the ones I never wrote..cos they dont count..k?)

I study for tests.. and I read LOADS! All the time.. I think being smart is sexy and I enjoy the company of smartasses…hahahaha…yes.. I do! In fact If a brain had a penis I would marry it.. intelligence for me is a huge turn-on.. (and legs and ass but thats another post)..

So I decided the time has come for me to test my smarts and take an IQ test.. the reason for my hesitation is that you cant study for it.. Horrors!

I sucked up my insecurities however and put my intellectual quotient to task..

Wanna know what my score was according to this here free online iq test thingy that later wanted $9.95 to reveal the whole story and not just the bloody number?

So do you?

huh huh?

Click here and all will be revealed –> Wait wait wait.. before you click.. you must remember this is just a guideline..I know I am way-way smarter … in fact I make so called geniuses cry themselves to sleep.. so bear all that in mind before saying something stupid and embarrassing yourself..K?

Ok.. here we go for real this time —> TADAAA!!!

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Ok.. So I was tagged to do this by not one but two people (EXMI and Doodles of a Journo).. First of all I didn’t know what it was.. yeah yeah.. I am not a tree hugger..ok?

And then after that I kept promising to check it out properly but was continuously sidetracked.. by..uhm.. oooh!..look there!..pretty shiny things!..

Here are the rules according to Exmi..

1. Skryf ‘n blog post, and tell the masses what you would find indispensable gear for this festival-non-stop-party-til-you-pop. (only 5 items)
2. Put this in your post – http://rockingthedaisiescompetition.co.za and http://www.digicape.co.za
3. Tell your maatjies. Link to their blogs and tune them to come check yours out, yo.
4. Register here, tag your friends in the body of your text, and your name and my name (cheapthrills) in the text box underneath thereby, you know.

1. Blog post…

My Fluffy-Pink-Bag-on-Wheels-with-Tassles will contain the following items..

a. Lip Gloss .. I cant handle dry lips.. and can be found applying and reapplying all day..

b. My Blankie.. I suffer with the cold.. I get cold looking at the fridge..

c. My Cellphone.. It has a 5MP camera so i can take loads of Pics, Can check my email, blog, sms my pals, and listen to the over 2GB of music on it..

d. LOTS of Loopaper! ..twin ply.. There is just no going without it (my bum is very sensitive).. It can be used for bartering purposes for other goods if the need strikes..

e. SexyG.. He is like a macgyver dude.. he can build us a fire using my bogrolls and cellphone.. you would be amazed! Plus he will have many many added features that will keep me hot for a long time…hmmmm

2. Links Added..

3. I phoned all my mates and told them to come read my blog..

4. Registered.. Cant tag (I have reached my quota of allowable tags)..

Ok.. so that is me done.. If this is something you would like to do..even though I think EVERYONE has done this already except me.. then by all means… GO GO GO!

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I think I need to start planning a holiday for myself… Go somewhere for about a week.. no computer..no cellphone.. no twitter.. no blog.. no media centre.. no disturbances!!

I almost want to cry at the thought of being so third world.. but I do think its time I took a break from technology to recharge my batteries.. Take SexyG with and play with him a little bit.. it will be good for us.. we can neck all day and night on the beach or on a mountain side..

I think I want to go hiking.. I LOVE walking.. and I can do it with ease.. very relaxing.. I will leave fishing to SexyG cos fish are intimidating for me.. scaly bunch..eeeuw!

BUT

This needs to be planned properly.. work is very busy at the moment and I will need to work even harder (or smarter) if I want time off..

Plus.. the kids are end of term with Control tests and stuff.. So I will need to keep that in mind.

*sigh* I can just see this is going to be tougher than I first thought.. I am holding thumbs, though.. because as everyone knows.. running your own business means no time off even if you have been very good …Luckily I have a great team I work with and this encourages me a little bit.

Earlier today I was reading a quote that Sweets posted and thought I would share one which I reflect upon every day..

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – Lao Tzu”

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