This is how we all start out.. All full of promise.. running around with our heart on our sleeves.. smiling at bunnies and butterflies..conviced that your life is a love story.. waiting for your prince charming to rescue you from the normalcy that surrounds you.. thinking the world is our oyster and everytime you see an old couple strolling in the park you go.. “aaah! how sweet!”

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Then you meet a handsome sexy guy and he sweeps you off our feet.. saying all the right things.. making all the right moves.. all your girlfriends get jealous and you start planning your wedding..with all the bridesmaids and horses and flowers..and then finally you build up enough courage to ask him out.. He accepts..you tell everyone! this is the moment YOU WERE BORN FOR!… and everytime you see an old couple strolling in the park you go..”aaah, I cant wait to grow old with you!”

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He is fine for awhile.. then the cracks start to show.. he no longer tells you how stunning you are.. but instead tells you how fabulous your friends are.. He no longer calls you every night just to say good night.. he spends less and less time with you and comes up with excuses why.. But he tells you how much you mean to him when he thinks you need it and tells you are the only one for him.. and everytime you see an old couple walking in the park you go..”She must be very patient and understanding..”

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You come home early from work one day.. and he is in bed with your best friend (you know.. the one he said you should be more like).. You feel your heart is breaking.. you feel the tear rip right through.. He rushes up to tell you how it meant nothing.. He tries to explain that you made him do it.. you weren’t being affectionate enough.. you see you vision of marriage die in front of you.. all you can think of is betrayal and hurt and disgust.. you admonish yourself for not seeing it sooner.. you wish there was a way you could unsee what you saw.. a way you can unknow what you know.. a way you can make this all better..and everytime you see an old couple walking in the park you go…” How did she do it?”

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You have kicked him out..you are not ready to face your friends and family yet.. the healing process has begun.. you aren’t ready for much and the only socialising you do is the hello’s and goodbye’s at the office.. You know in time you will love again.. but for now you need to give your heart some time to mend.. You know that next time you will be better at this.. and that you have just learnt a few valuable lessons.. but you also wish that you didn’t have to learn so many damn lessons and that the rules were more clear and less cryptic.. and everytime you see an old couple walking in the park you *sigh* and think to yourself…” I wonder if I will ever find that..”

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