If I had a penis..

July 18th, 2008

…hhmmmm

If I had a penis.. I would write my name in the dirt every chance I get..

If I had a penis.. I would never wear loose boxers because the thought of a dangly bits on my thighs offends me..

If I had a penis.. I would wax my tackle regularly.. No-one likes to go down on tumbleweed..

If I had a penis.. I would be hung like a horse.. this I know..

If I had a penis.. I wonder if I too would try sticking it in all sorts of things to see what happens??

If I had a penis.. I would miss my vagina..

If I had a penis.. I would show it to everyone who wanted to look..

If I had a penis.. I would talk to it every day to find out how it was hanging..

If I had a penis.. I would probably be such a slut..

If I had a penis.. I wouldn’t be phoning the girl in the morning.. she would be phoning me.. nonstop.. I’m that Good!

If I had a penis.. I would probably never get much done because I would be staring at it alot ..(wondering what happened to my vagina might be one reason)

If I had a penis.. Guys would hate me and probably order hits on me..

…now aren’t you glad I don’t have a penis??

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Posted in My Armpits | 21 Comments »

21 Comments »

If you had a penis, you wouldn’t have PMS.

BTW – Writing your name in the dirt with your penis is just plain gross, and uncomfortable. So I have been told……..


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Comment by Glugster (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 1:05 pm




Glugster Glugster – I meant writing my name with pee.. not the putting of ones penis in the sand!! OUCH!!
I think Angel needs to keep an eye on you.. what have you done?!?! Shock and horror..lol


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Comment by B (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 1:55 pm




If you had a penis, would you perform all these silly dick tricks ??

http://bossmanthe.blogspot.com/2007/12/silly-book-dick-tricks.html


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Comment by rexmanthe (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 2:06 pm




Would you put a grapefruit in the microwave and then try and stink your winky into it? Apparently it’s better and cheaper than a fleshlight.

Yeah…I’m dirty…if I had a penis I would give me such a cock slap right now *cough* and then go to church and stuff


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Comment by Goblin (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 3:34 pm




OMG!!!

I have to say there are a few I would probably try.. but the OLYMPIC TORCH will be one of those I will give a miss.. what about you rexmanthe?? how many have you tried??




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Comment by B (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 3:37 pm




Goblin – Yeah, I saw it on 101 most embarrassing sexual acts, I wouldnt do it cause the guy burnt his penis raw.. MAN!.. the things guys do to their penises!! its a shocker.. But I am right with you with the “cock slap and then off to church”…:-P


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Comment by B (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 3:47 pm




Mines bigger than yours and I would never try half those tricks.


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Comment by Guy McLaren (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 5:01 pm




mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa… i have honestly never thought about what i would do if i had a penis, and no worries- i’ll make sure the glugster doesn’t injure himself unnecessarily.


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Comment by angel (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 5:16 pm




*choke* Love the post topic, if I had a penis I would pee standing, everywhere! Ha. Oh and I am with you on the boxer thing, dangling bits are never a good thing- that is why I wear a bra!


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Comment by DirtyLaundryDiva (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 5:48 pm




also, going to the restroom is actually cool: http://www.textunli.com/2008/06/toilet-spies.html


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Comment by speakindoodles (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 18, 2008 @ 5:48 pm




Guy Mclaren – Of course it is

Angel – thanks.. I was worried..
You never thought about having a penis??

DirtyLaundryDiva – I think its guys who have small willies that wear boxers.. or else they would have bruised legs..

speakindoodles – If I had a penis I would pee on the wall and teach them bitches…hahahahaha


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Comment by B (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 19, 2008 @ 9:52 am




Because I can …. » If I had a penis…..

What if you woke up one morning and discovered you had a penis? One you knew was not there last night…..

Trackback by Entreview.com — July 20, 2008 @ 6:42 am




Hey B,
I am not admitting to how many of those I have tried! But the Olympic torch is gonna hurt!!!

HAHAHAHHA!


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Comment by rexmanthe (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 21, 2008 @ 8:49 am




Rexmanthe – hmmmm.. you probably tried them all.. yes, I do think you did..lol


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Comment by B (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 21, 2008 @ 11:09 am




you would write your name in the dirt?? mwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahahahahaa
that’s just classic…


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Comment by stef (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 22, 2008 @ 7:26 am




LOL!!! hahahahaha Goblin, Glugster, wot would you do if you woke up and discovered you had a vagina? hehehe


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Comment by Vendetta (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 24, 2008 @ 10:24 am




Hi B,

I haven’t tried them ALL. Just a select few. Do you want to know what time it is?? I have a nice watch

By the way nice blog, I have become a regular reader!


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Comment by rexmanthe (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 24, 2008 @ 10:51 am




If I had a vagina I would not leave the house


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Comment by rexmanthe (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 24, 2008 @ 10:51 am




Stef – I would take photos and show all my friends..;-)

Vendetta – erm, lol..interesting point there.. so glugster what would you do if you had a vagina??

Rexmanthe – put your watch away..lol…demmit.. a vagina would obviously be dangerously abused by you!


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Comment by B (Wanna see my Armpits?) — July 24, 2008 @ 1:24 pm




If I had a penis I would definitely enlarge it! LOL Ask any men you know – do you mind to have a bigger penis? What do you think they will answer?
-.

Comment by Baby_bear — December 16, 2009 @ 7:35 pm




I would push my boyfriend to his knees and test his sucking skills

Comment by Katrina — December 30, 2009 @ 3:53 pm

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