How far does the apple fall ?

As most people are aware.. I am a mommy.. woohooo!! Ok, stop that now, It’s not a new thing.. my boys are 10 and 14 years old already.. so I am what you would call “seasoned”..

And in all these years gone past I constantly find myself reflecting on my mother’s parenting skills and using most them .. This has worked well for me because I had a wonderful mom who loved me and cared for me every day.. And my boys are well adjusted in most areas.

But what if you didnt have a such a nice mom? What if your mom was not such a nice person to you?

Before you raise your eyebrows and shake your head in disbelief I need to tell you that this is the case for some people..sad, eh?

We tend to follow our parental role models in life… because that is all we know..This is a natural instinct because children do not come with manuals or instructions for care.. We just follow the guidelines as they were laid down for us by our guardians…

But what if your parent wasn’t all that great? What if your mother spoke badly to you? Called you names and ran you down to people? What if your mom was selfish and conceited? What if your mom hardly ever hugged you but shouted at you all the time instead? Do you then do that to your children? Do you repeat the cycle of abuse? How hard it must be to break away from such negativity.. Will you be able to recognise the abusive behaviour and be able to stop it before dealing the same behaviour out to your children? Will you be able to learn from your parents mistake and do it right?

Just because it is your mom doesn’t make it right.. Parents are people too.. And like all things.. there are bad parents and good parents..

We should just try and recognise the things that they did which was bad, and pledge not to repeat them on our children..

If there is one person in this world that you SHOULD be able to trust, it should be your mother. Mom’s are supposed to have your back no matter what! Moms should love unconditionally and always think you are the best thing since sliced cheese..even if your eyes are cockeye or dont have the career they want you to have..

A parent should like you and love you for the person that you are.. whether you are a girl or boy..straight or gay..pretty or ugly.. smart or stupid..rich or poor.. normal or different.. single or married.. good or bad..

I have had the misfortune to witness a mothers destructiveness or her children firsthand, I have a friend who’s mom had no time for her, shouted at her more often than not, calling her all kinds of names and even cut clothes off her body if she didn’t approve of the style. My mom was more of a mom to her than her own mother was at times.. Sad thing is that she still loves her mom, and I know that deep in heart she cries alittle bit from time to time for the mom she never had. And today she does everything in her power to be the best mom she can be.. and she does a fabulous job..

I have seen other moms who do similiar things to their children and I just want to walk over to them and ask them why they had children if they weren’t going to love them? Children are not commodities, shouldn’t be tied to beds because they cant handle them, shouldn’t be run down to others as a conversation piece, shouldn’t be blamed for the parents problems, and should NEVER EVER be used for gain..

I am glad I always knew my mom was honest with me and never EVER lied to me and loved me as much as she loved my brothers and sister equally, I am thankful that my mom hugged me everytime she saw me, I am thankful that my mom and dad guided us to become great people regardless of how we looked where we worked and what we did..

So what DO YOU DO when you have a bad parent??…..

…. forgive them