Thoughts out loud…

I’m being watched.. My every move monitored.. My every word captured..

Why me? What about me is so noteworthy and captivating??

Should I smile? Would he be aware of how nervous he makes me?

I can feel his eyes move on me as I walk to the flat, as I switch on the kettle..

His eyes burning the back of my neck as I walk.. I pull my jersey abit tighter, and falter abit on the steps… Did he see that? Of course he did! He sees it all.. Makes notes of it all…

The phone is ringing now.. I dont want to answer it.. It might be him.. He often phones.. Stays silent on the other end until the silence screams out at me and I put the phone down.

I stand there.. in the kitchen.. aware of him.. aware that he isn’t far away..

Th odd thing about it is that I am not completely nervous anymore.. He has become almost familiar to me at times.. Last night I lay in bed with the comfort I wasnt completely alone.. I think I am going crazy..

What are the signs? Is this craziness and I am just unaware of it? Is this how crazy people feel? Should I speak to someone?

No!.. I must pull myself together.. I have to get back to work.. Let him follow me.. let him watch me.. I just wont let him know that he has such an effect on me.. I wont answer the phone.. thats what voicemail is for..

I can do this.. I can get through this day.. I have before and I will again..

Come with me, my little friend.. Come and lets get on with this day ..

I smile at where I know he is and I feel him almost explode with glee…

Soon.. Soon he will reveal himself and come out of the shadows.. until then he will remain in the dark .. alone, distant, forever watching…