A-Mid-st something…

So I went abit AWOL.. but things have been abit hectic around this side of the planet with having to contend with my brother on trial, end of month work piling up on my desk and all these ridiculous public holidays!

But in an interesting twist I was chatting with a friend yesterday, ready to offload all my woes and whines when she lays one on me.. She asked what do I know about male menopause! I mean, What the heck? Why would I care? Men don’t deserve to get nice labels like Male Menopause anyway! We should call it what it is.. “Whining for tit”.

They reach a certain age, wake up one morning notice that their is more hair on their pillow than their heads.. They get up and look in the mirror see what we all been seeing for awhile.. wrinkles and a paunch.. then .. WHAMMO! They rush out in panic and buy a new car(one to reflect their wannabe status).. get new clothes and start flirting with everything with a skirt(or skimpy shorts)…

Ayayaaai!

OK so I indulge my mate and listen to her telling me how she has met this guy much older than herself and he has been practically throwing himself at her.. So after far too many details she finally got to her point.. She needs Viagra and do I know where this can be sourced..

OMW! Not only did I receive faaar too much information as far as wrinkly old man parts go but now she thinks I am some kind of drug dealer she can come to for some “magic blue pills”

So I politely refused to “hook” her up and went on to ask her why she would want to go to so much trouble to engage with a soft wrinkly bit that needs to be cranked up before it is a viable entity..

She couldn’t tell me … I have a feeling its a mixture of Ol’ Gentlemanly charm and fun…

So what are the signs of this “Male Menopause”?

  1. The newly dyed hair.. (check the dye stains in his ear)
  2. The newly aqcuired wheels.. (Motorbike or car)
  3. New trendy clothing that is normally ill-fitting over his paunch which the saleslady convinced him looks FABULOUS!!
  4. New Gym membership with matching Gym clothes…(because deep down he knows the saleslady lied to him)
  5. The regression of basic language skills with an tendency towards slang words in order to look more hip..
  6. There will also be a noticeable increase of interest in the younger generation ie. their teenage children and their friends which includes the inviting of themselves to social events with the teeny boppers…
  7. They will do anything for a smile from a younger girl…
  8. They keep saying things like ” She doesn’t understand me..” and ” I am still young at heart..” and ” I remember when..”

The list goes on but I am bored with it now.. I have a hectic week ahead and I dont want to think about old men acting like whiny children.. Just a tip though.. If you are one of these guys.. at least have the decency to organise your own “blue pill”.. Be a man for goodness sake.. even if just for a minute!

P.S. Don’t do a Google image search of “Older Men” with safe search off.. I have retinal burn now…Eeeuuuwww!!!