Sex and the city…

I have a vagina…

I wake up each morning so grateful that I have one.. I just think she is wonderful.. I really do..!! But this is one of those things you are going to just have to take my word on…

I can’t just be flashing her around willy-nilly giving all and sundry an eyefull of my candy! No, no, no… That will just definitely not do. I keep her nice and tidy at all times.. No crazy hairstyles or colourings like some people I know ( you know who you are).. And she is always presentable at a moments notice if the mood strikes.

However, she also incorporates a mind and will of her own and tends to drag me into all sorts of naughty scenarios and settings.. I am at times only along for the ride !!

At least once a day I have a Vagina Dialogue (aka candy talk) with my BFF QueenG where we discuss men, work, the effects of men and work and how we can get the men to do our work..

I am noticing a trend with her whenever I tell her that Sexy G has done something sweet her stock standard response is “..give him head, and tell him I say hi..”. He loves her…

I remember reading somewhere once that all a guy needs to make his day complete is a good meal and head.

And I pondered this thought… Are guys really that shallow? Do they not want to be held close and loved for who they are and not how well they may be hung? If this is true, should we as woman behave in the same manner and only require a well cooked meal and head? Tempting as that may sound.. I don’t believe that this is the way to go..

What about Love? Passion? Cuddling afterwards and just enjoying being together. Can these guys really tell me that when a woman snuggles up to them in a naked embrace that he would prefer head and a meal? Puhlleaaaase… What crap.. who they trying to kid?

The truth is we mean far more to them than they like to admit. They only say that nonsense as a means of self preservation. We have the power to manipulate them with our batting eyes and helpless demeanour(Yes we fake it.. get over it). Dont even go into the fact that we have the ALMIGHTY vagina!.. LMFAO!! For that they will arm wrestle Chuck Norris.

So what do we women do with our vagina’s and the knowledge that we can rule the world? (Yes guys, we are fully aware of our power to rule!) We use it as a bargaining tool .. ” If you dont clean the garage right now Jon YOU WILL SLEEP ON THE COUCH!” So jon has a favourite couch by now and he is fairly acquainted with it.

I see a few problems with this in that a) the woman has to go without nookie (unless she has an extramural) and b) why use it for such menial crap? If nookie is to be withheld then at least make it worthwhile like a new car or a big shiny ring.. And then dont hold out too long cos your only hurting yourself (and your poor vagina!!)

I really hate arguments cos I see my nookie fly out the bloody window and that is very upsetting.. I get edgy and snap at people.. ggggrrrrrrr…

So in a sense guys wield almost (note almost.. its not as strong) power over us with the penis. This obviously depends on what size his penis is as to the amount of power he would be able to wield with it and whether or not he knows how to use it…(his penis that is)

But this they will NEVER know about while we keep them distracted and mesmorised with our girly bits…