I tend to stay out of others squabbles and such because I have had enough drama in my life to last two lifetimes.. But when I stumble upon such Idiocracy as I had the misfortune to do this morning It is all I can do to contain myself!

The drama began when “one times emotional cripple” got the boot… Then he got nasty and threw his business to the kerb and single handedly destroyed his company and personal name.. And why?? Why would anyone do this?

Is it really worth it? Did she break his heart with unrequited love?

He goes on and on about her being fake and her not being worth and wanting her to unfire him and all sorts.. But what does he REALLY hope to gain by all this?

Obviously he has lost the plot if what I have discovered about him holds even a wisp of truth.. I think the time has come for him to stop what he is doing as he is only hurting himself.. He really needs to just take a step back and reflect abit about what has transpired since this whole thing has happened.

I do not want him to continue saying such Godawful things about anyone. It is soul destroying and it serves no purpose.

Richard, she isn’t coming back to you, she is gone, pick up the pieces(whatever you can salvage) and move on.

The blogosphere is not the place for this. Never was…

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There is just no arguing with some people regarding somethings sometimes…

Some people will do whatever it takes to get what they want. Even at the expense of themselves.

Take Hairy Knuckle for instance, Here is a woman 29 years old who wanted another baby before she turned 30. Now this on its own is not a bad thing.. but take into consideration she is unmarried, no boyfriend, has no stable job (she does some real estate work now apparently though) already has two lovely girls and lives with her mom. Two weeks ago she attained her goal and gave birth to a little boy. The father is no where to be found or heard of.. And this is fine as far as she is concerned.. She just wanted the baby!

She has also declared her intentions on finding a husband now. I fear for the men out there as she goes singlemindedly on her path to attain this goal. I think she has gone about this all backward.. First comes marriage, then a baby in a carriage! I am not old fashioned but unless I’m lesbian I wouldn’t want to plan a family alone.. What do you say when they ask who their daddy is? At least her girls know who their daddy is as he has played a huge role in their lives even though he doesn’t have a relationship with their mother. But what about the little boy? What was she thinking? Perhaps she wasn’t..

But there are lots of people out there who dont care about the consequences as they travel through life on misguided paths doing what they please with no thought as to the effect it has on people around them.

I want alot out of life, but I do not want anything at the expense of others and will rather go without than ever hurting anyone. The truth however is that sometimes people do get hurt I suppose..

My goals in life are simple:-

• To be as great a mom as mine was
• To be a huge success in business (monetarily and professionally)
• To travel overseas
• And to love and be loved…

So what will you do to get what you want?

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I have a vagina…

I wake up each morning so grateful that I have one.. I just think she is wonderful.. I really do..!! But this is one of those things you are going to just have to take my word on…

I can’t just be flashing her around willy-nilly giving all and sundry an eyefull of my candy! No, no, no… That will just definitely not do. I keep her nice and tidy at all times.. No crazy hairstyles or colourings like some people I know ( you know who you are).. And she is always presentable at a moments notice if the mood strikes.

However, she also incorporates a mind and will of her own and tends to drag me into all sorts of naughty scenarios and settings.. I am at times only along for the ride !!

At least once a day I have a Vagina Dialogue (aka candy talk) with my BFF QueenG where we discuss men, work, the effects of men and work and how we can get the men to do our work..

I am noticing a trend with her whenever I tell her that Sexy G has done something sweet her stock standard response is “..give him head, and tell him I say hi..”. He loves her…

I remember reading somewhere once that all a guy needs to make his day complete is a good meal and head.

And I pondered this thought… Are guys really that shallow? Do they not want to be held close and loved for who they are and not how well they may be hung? If this is true, should we as woman behave in the same manner and only require a well cooked meal and head? Tempting as that may sound.. I don’t believe that this is the way to go..

What about Love? Passion? Cuddling afterwards and just enjoying being together. Can these guys really tell me that when a woman snuggles up to them in a naked embrace that he would prefer head and a meal? Puhlleaaaase… What crap.. who they trying to kid?

The truth is we mean far more to them than they like to admit. They only say that nonsense as a means of self preservation. We have the power to manipulate them with our batting eyes and helpless demeanour(Yes we fake it.. get over it). Dont even go into the fact that we have the ALMIGHTY vagina!.. LMFAO!! For that they will arm wrestle Chuck Norris.

So what do we women do with our vagina’s and the knowledge that we can rule the world? (Yes guys, we are fully aware of our power to rule!) We use it as a bargaining tool .. ” If you dont clean the garage right now Jon YOU WILL SLEEP ON THE COUCH!” So jon has a favourite couch by now and he is fairly acquainted with it.

I see a few problems with this in that a) the woman has to go without nookie (unless she has an extramural) and b) why use it for such menial crap? If nookie is to be withheld then at least make it worthwhile like a new car or a big shiny ring.. And then dont hold out too long cos your only hurting yourself (and your poor vagina!!)

I really hate arguments cos I see my nookie fly out the bloody window and that is very upsetting.. I get edgy and snap at people.. ggggrrrrrrr…

So in a sense guys wield almost (note almost.. its not as strong) power over us with the penis. This obviously depends on what size his penis is as to the amount of power he would be able to wield with it and whether or not he knows how to use it…(his penis that is)

But this they will NEVER know about while we keep them distracted and mesmorised with our girly bits…

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I just got the funniest email this morning that I felt Extremely noteworthy!
I wish I knew who wrote it as it epitomizes the crap we as women put ourselves through each and ever 2-3 weeks (depending on how hirsute you are)!
I love my waxist.. she is the best thing since slice cheese. She is kind and considerate and is the sweetest person ever… I travel 40km’s just to go see her each time and any woman who does waxing will understand

Boyfriends come and go.. but your Gynae and Waxist is for life…:-)
So here is the mail I read, Boys might not want to read on.. so consider yourself warned!

Hair Removal….

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: “Maybe should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.”

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those “cold wax” kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I’m not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
(”Cold wax, yeah…right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself….RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!!
I’m blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!….
OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out…must stay conscious…must
stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe………………OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy – a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There’s no hair on it.
Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip…it’s not! I touch. I am touching wax.I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my
body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake… remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something, so I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself “Please don’t let me get the urge to poop.My head may pop off!”
What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I’ll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub – The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment – I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub…in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn’t melt cold wax.
So, now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It’s a very good conversation starter “So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!”
There is a slight pause. She doesn’t know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, “Are we talking cheeks or
hole or hoo-ha?”
She’s laughing out loud by now…I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else’s night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor.
Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace….the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It’s sooo painful, but I really don’t care.
“IT WORKS!! It works !!”
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair….
THE HAIR IS STILL THERE…….ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I’m numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I’m going to try hair colour……

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Saterday afternoon, I am having some tea in the lounge and Sexy G pounces upon me and smiling pulls me to my feet, grabs my bum and passionately kisses me till my toes curl, Once I regain my balance, breathe and realign myself he announces that we should go out for a little bit!

Ok, Not a bad idea, Load shedding is scheduled in a few minutes and he probably saw the pityfull look on my face as I was paging through the magazines earlier (either that or the loudly exaggerated sighs).

I needed no prompting!!

I grabbed my bag, combed my hair and put on my shoes so fast he was still walking to the bedroom to grab his shoes! I was taking no chances he might change his mind…

OK, So I left all my credit cards, debit cards, and all cash at home to avoid temptation as I am only going as a voyeur to tag possible purchases and not to buy recklessly as I am wanting to do at present..

Oh but it was soooo wonderful browsing the various loverly shops…flicking my fingers from one garment to the next.. I had a test drive on a fabulous LAVAZZA expresso machine at the @home store where SexyG and I made ourselves some expresso using little teeny weeny pods! Ultra Cool!

I saw the most fabulous red heels, But no size 8, saleslady seemed honestly shocked that shoe sizes went above 7.. cow !!

So so so Sexy though!! Stalking for red heels continues..

Then my ultra favourite part was the lingerie shop… Even though there was no La Senza shop there I went into the local lingerie shop and saw a couple of very nice items that I have tagged and made sure Sexy G saw me tagging them hehehehe…

As we were about to leave SexyG drags me into one of the clothing shops… Picks up the cutest little red Tee and buys it! I coulda shagged him right there and then! Isnt he just the sweetest guy ever??? Love him to bits and bits!

On our way to the car we went to the Cinnabon and bought two Chocolate minibons which we had last night with tea while snuggling on the couch…

Best day ever… Neediness appeased!!

(….for now anyway)

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I want to go shopping… I want to spend all my bloody money.. I want to burn my credit and some!!!!

And I want to go splurge on a fabulous meal at the most overpriced place and not eat a thing!

I want to walk into a lingerie shop and buy everything there that makes me feel sexy and then even the stuff that doesn’t ..

I want to buy a dozen new pairs of shoes in fabulous colours and gorgeous heels…

I want to get a whole new wardrobe and be able to throw my old jeans at the minions that surround me…

I want to walk into the next shop and buy something and not even need it..

And why do I want to do all this??? Because I can….

I am officially tired of worrying about whether I should buy the bloody bra and if i really need it or not… I love lingerie and I dem well need to have it.. Look how pretty it is!!

Aargh!

Being a responsible mom sucks so much bloody donkey doo it just isn’t funny..

I don’t know why being a parent suddenly sucks the fun out of everything… But the reality is that before I buy anything for myself I first think about whether the money should be used for other more boring arb things such as food..

If I was just a singleton I wouldn’t worry about a dem thing.. My ass is big enough to skip the odd meal and demmit those jeans are just so worth it!

So the only alternative left to me in order to have guilt free shopping trips is to earn more than my kids can eat… And since they are two growing preteen and teen boys this is a task easier said than done! They eat anything they can outrun… (The bunny has had a few narrow escapes).

So I think I will work this weekend instead of obsessing about that shopping trip I feel is soooooooo long overdue.. I might drive (quite pathetically i might add) past a few shoppings centres and just wave at them and perhaps tag a few that I intend to abuse shortly..

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I am not domesticated to be honest.. But this morning I felt the need to put a load of washing on (Ok, I have no clean gym pants)…

While emptying the pockets of J’s school pants I found a crumpled piece of paper in them…

I could not RESIST!.. Didnt even try!

So I opened it up carefully like a little kid unwrapping a xmas pressie…and was the one thing I most certainly did not expect!! In fact I was totally blown away with my discovery..

It was a poem!

“A Poem?” you ask.. Yes, A poem!

Upon intensive interrogation (I had a lamp aimed at his eyeballs…) it turns out it was a rough draft for a school project.

I personally think it is not bad attempt for a 13 year old boy and he has definite potential…

It is really such a boy poem though..

The skull can chatter,

but the bone can rattle.

The heart makes a sound,

That is like a pound.

With your lungs you breath,

But with your kidneys you believe…

I am just concerned that he isn’t using his kidneys in the right way…

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