Do my Boobs look big in this?…
.. why do we as woman ask inane questions? We will put on a pair of pants and see the seams struggling to contain the beast within and then look at our friends/family/boyfriend/husband and politely enquire “does my bum look big in this?”… Now if that is not setting that person up then I don’t know what is! What are they supposed to say? “No darling, it is supposed to look like your pants are ready to hurl out your Mooseknuckle at the next unsuspecting person..” But I found myself asking my girlfriend today if the top I was wearing made my boobs look too big! She then looks at me like I am mad and says “B some things in life could never really look tooo big.. boobs are one of them…”. I would never ask the...
What a girl wants…
It is Xmas time again… And all the trees are up and the lights are flashing. I have not put up my Xmas tree yet.. I am waiting for all my kids to be here first.. all four of them! My two handsome boys and Sexy G (my bf) ‘s two lovely Girls… However we are not without trees and tinsel as the road we live in has become an Eskom Nightmare and I am now aware as to why we have been load-shedding so much! The amount of bloody lights out there could power up The Pavillion shopping centre for 2 weeks! So I drive past at night with my shades on and tell the kids not to look directly at it in fear of retinal burn. But even with all of that I just cant get into the Xmas spirit this year… I don’t know if it is due to my mom passing recently or if...
Karma Sutra done stylishly..
Now if you are like me you would have at least attempted one or two of those comprehensive positions and possibly heard the twang of your vertebra snap… So I decided that I need to supple up abit and get more exercises under my belt so that I can go from “aaaaaarghhh – oooh – ow!” to “ok, yes, great, lets do it again!” .. This is an official goal of mine.. .. Seriously! I am going to strap on my spandex thingie today, clamp on my hr monitor and stretch and tone.. And very soon I will be able to do more comprehensive and stylish MD (Maneuvers in the Dark). So watch this space.. B P.S. time to update my insurance I think.. Like Unlike
…Rescue Mission
Imagine the scene… It was a Cold Wet Wednesday, and I saw an email come through – it was from Arsef?k. I sigh heavily – nothing ever good comes from him and I can see the clouds are looking even more ominous than it did a few minutes ago.. I hesitate, Do I open it or Do I just delete it.. I opened it… I started reading it and it went something like this “..blah, blah, blah, Im starting new life in Kloof… blah blah blah…” and as I was sitting reading it I could feel my eyes water from boredom and to save myself from any further agony I had to just close it. But wait!.. I opened it again… I saw a reference there about my Border Collies.…I read it again..slowly.. He had dumped them at the SPCA?.. surely that...
Taking over the world – Part2….
continued from Taking over the world part 1… I feel like I have dropped the ball for my 2IC , the lesbian looking Davy, also known as “Tart”. So I have ordered 5000 posters of Tart in fishnet leggings with a Madonna bra and red stiletto’s with the pay-line “I want You”. It was a difficult task getting him into those fishnets as he refused to shave his legs for the occasion and his leg hairs are like elephant hair on Viagra. So needless to say we went through a few pairs before we just decided to get him drunk and waxed him using the OneStripWax method(back-crack-sack), and then tackled his leg-hairs with an angle-grinder to trim his tufts. So he now looks so dem pretty that I’m sure he will be a huge help when we meet up...
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