Sex, Lies and avoidance…

Relationships are tough… I know most people are aware of this and are rolling their eyes and saying “well,whats new?”, so perhaps I should tell you what I have discovered recently…

Did you know that most relationships don’t fail due to infidelity but instead, adulterous sex when discovered, has been known to cement and strengthen failing relationships!

Crazy hey? Well that’s what I initially thought…

But the truth of the matter is that most relationships fail due to built up resentment normally stemming from really really mundane stuff like the dishwasher duty…

How often have you had an argument with your partner regarding really ” stupid things” which has turned into such a heated argument you question everything and ask yourself why you were in that relationship to start with? We are all guilty of this in some way or another but the reality is this… Avoidance and lies are the culprit!

We lie about how the small things make us feel.. We try and avoid situations in the hopes that it will either work itself out or just disappear. Whenever something annoys us we don’t talk about it because we deem it as unimportant and something we can handle and we allow this feeling to fester within us until it turns everything good into poison.

But if you were caught cheating that build up of resentment is not there for the other person (unless they knew about it for a long time and just didn’t say anything<–wow!), and they will still be in love with you and would be willing to work through the situation with you, even though you have broken their trust and hurt them. And in most cases, the relationship is stronger and even better than ever before, because there is more commitment from both sides to work things through!

I am not sure adultery is an easy thing to forgive but I see the value in the argument that adultery is easier to combat than festering resentment and frustration.

So the next time you decide to test the boundaries on your relationship remember this… rather bonk the bartender and tell him to do the dishwasher … You never know .. It could save your relationship!

B