My mom…

Wow, I find my life is so consumed with worry for my mom lately.

She is ill right now and I feel so helpless. I wish i could make it all better but the reality of it is that I cant. I can only be there for her and transport her and look after her needs right now.

Wish I had gone to Medical School instead of being a geek and taking computer courses. I can see it now. I would be the Meredith Grey pleading with Dr McDreamy to “Love Me!!, Pick Me!!” all the while maintaining puppy dog eyes and pursed lips and promising not to snore like a tractor…

But real life is so different to tv programs. Instead I am at the mercy of the Surgical Doctor at the local hospital who is jaded with the amount of people he sees everyday and doesnt understand that my mom is a natural worrier and panicker who took “Drama Queen” courses at school instead of Home Economics.. So test after test I go back to the hospital and either I am helping my mom onto some newfangled Gizmo that can analyse spit from 500 meters or I am sitting in the waiting room anticipating the results.

But as of yet everything is inconclusive.. What the hell does that mean anyway? Does it mean they are unable to analyse all the tissue samples that they have extracted from this poor elderly lady who had lost kilo’s due to all the samples extracted from her? Or does it mean they lost it and need to try again?

Bugger , Double Bugger and Damn!!!

So I get the joyful task of going back to the hospital once again with my mom on wednesday to give them more samples for them to play with.

But going to the hospital is something of a mission of monumental proportions!! First of all she is unable to walk properly and I dont have a wheelchair and when we get there for some bloody reason all the wheelchairs are gone! (I think they see us coming from the parking lot and play “hide the wheelchair” with us…) So we(my brother and I) have to half carry – half drag her around the hospital from Xray dept to Surgical Outpatients to Ultrasound, all the while she keeps saying “find me a wheelchair” like we haven’t tried.

It is draining.. But I would do it everyday for the rest of my life if I thought it would make her better… Shes my mom and all parent I have left.. Without her I will be an orphan..And I am too young to be an orphan…