snap on…

Walked into the office this morning armed with my coffee and diary ready to tackle the day… Sat down and opened my mail program and watched the email come in automatically sorting itself into all the relevant folders.

So there I was opening mail after mail when I suddenly got up and walked upstairs to the bathroom… Dropped my pants and looked in the mirror. I looked everywhere! I even called my boyfriend for a second opinion.. He walked away mumbling something about rehab…

So what was I looking for? My Penis. I was looking for my penis.

After receiving all the mail about penis enlargements and how I dont have to feel bad anymore and I can finally be a champ in bed with a penis enlargement, I felt it necessary to go and check if perhaps they knew something I didnt.

Needless to say after a frantic search and confirmation from my bf it would appear they have sent the mail to the wrong person. Perhaps they were looking for my ex husband? I should forward these to him as he was probably expecting them…

So it got me thinking all these promises of penis enlarging and how it really works. Perhaps someone can clarify this for me?

I have a few ideas how i think it could work..

1. Its a prosthetic piece that they attach to the end of the penis using elaborate harnesses that strap around the nuts and come in various shapes, sizes and colours.

2. The give you tablets that make your nuts shrink to give the appearance of a bigger penis.

3. They smack your penis with a wooden stick to make it swell up.

4. They give you a faulty ruler.

5. They insert a balloon and you pump your nuts and go.

Now Im no expert on this but they all seem abit silly and perhaps guys should spend less time trying to enlarge their penises and perhaps just take the time to finding out what she really wants? It may be Jewellery, a backrub or even just a snuggle on the couch with some fondling…hehehe 😉


P.S. If you are one of those who “would like to make your lady tremble with ardor” just drop me your email address and I will add you to the forward list when I send these to my ex.